Monday, September 30, 2002


One night I had a wondrous dream,

One set of footprints there were seen.

The footprints of my precious Lord,

But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,

And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"

Those prints are large and round and neat,

"But Lord, they are too big for my little feet."

"My child," He said in somber tones,

"For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,

The walk of faith, you would not know,

So I got tired, I got fed up,

And there I dropped you on your butt."

"Because in life, there comes a time,

When one must fight , and one must climb,

When one must rise and take a stand,

Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

-- Anonymous

Saturday, September 28, 2002

Bless you, Wayne. The rest of the day was not a dead loss.

I have a friend who has recently been in the hospital for an anxiety disorder that makes her throat tighten up to the point that she is unable to swallow food. She has lost over 75 lbs. and is a nervous wreck. She was actually hospitalized and put on strong tranquilizers as it was the only way she could eat. They recently released her from the hospital because they are overcrowded and needed her bed.

Today some of her children were here for a birthday party. When she arrived to pick them up, I could see that she was not doing well. In fact, she had dropped off her youngest with us at the swim center and literally ran away and hoped we would take care of her (we did). She looked very pale like she would faint, was extremely embarrased about leaving her daughter with us, and she was having a mini-panic attack complete with an inability to swallow and nausea.

I thought I might be able to help her, so I had her come in and sit down with me in my sun room. We began with something easy -- her nausea and I used a technique called EFT which is something that Dr. Mercola, a Christian osteopathic physician, also promotes.

It took only two rounds of tapping for her nausea to disappear. Then we began to work on the tightness in her throat. One round of tapping brought no noticeable relief. So then I changed tactics and told her that I wanted her to think about what emotional trigger was causing her to stress out so much that she was feeling "choked." I also assured her that she could speak in her own language (she is Finnish) if she felt more comfortable doing this and if she didn't want me to know her issues. (If it was someone who only spoke English, I would have them Hum or insert a code word if they didn't want me to know the issue -- this respects their borders and privacy.) Now here is what is interesting -- after two rounds of tapping while she spoke in Finnish with me giving some directions in English, I could see a shift take place in her. Her cheeks, which had previously been very pale, all of a sudden grew rosy in color. She also relaxed in a profound way. But even more interesting is the fact that she began to pray in Finnish. I kept tapping on various points as she kept praying and stopped only when she stopped and I could see that it was appropriate. She opened her eyes and the first thing she said to me was, "God is in what you are doing."

She still had a tiny bit of tightness in her chest, but the tightness in her throat was gone. This had only happened before under the influence of strong narcotics. She later called me on the phone because she started to have a panic attack and we were able to clear that completely as well.

Her experience with prayer is not unusual. I am finding that if you can help people clear emotional short circuits in their systems, it becomes easier for them to pray about the sins that may be causing them the problems on the spiritual level. One of the things that really seemed to work with her was when I had her repeat the phrase, "Even though I have this problem with ________, I deeply and profoundly forgive and accept myself for my part in causing this, and I completely forgive those who have had a part in it as well. The floodgates opened and relief was soon found.

Anyhow, I thought I would share this little bit of experience with it as a demonstration of the good it can do.
Hmmmm.... I am moderately obsessive compulsive according to this test.

Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.

It has been one of THOSE DAYS. I would like to bite chunks out of my pillow, or better yet, someone's leg! And that is about all I can safely say.

Thursday, September 26, 2002

My friend Valerie wrote the following beautiful passage in an email lately. I couldn't resist posting it here as it epitomizes the attitudes we should have towards the children God gives us:

Imagine with me a perfect world. Suppose that we can enjoy our children without any expense or trouble or inconvenience.

Suppose that there is no such thing as painful pregnancy; there is no morning sickness and no labor.

Imagine what it would be like if we were fabulously wealthy and living in spacious homes on beautiful grounds with no concern whatsoever for our future provision. What if we had no shoes to buy, no clothes to make, and no need to shop sales or cut coupons to feed our children?

What would it be like if they never needed to visit the doctor, never got coughs or fevers, and never threw up in the middle of the night?

What if they always obeyed, never cried, never whined, never complained and never pinched each other? What if they always praised Jesus and had no other attitude but love for God and His People, including their parents and siblings?

Wouldn't life be lovely? Wouldn't it be beautiful?

If my picture were reality-based, how many children would most Christians want? More than one or two? More than they have now? I'm guessing so.

There are many aspects to life with children that *are* precious, some that are almost pure bliss, so I suspect that if the difficulty and sorrow were removed, if life with them were nothing but unadulterated joy, Christians would have more children. I suspect that we would be pursuing Biblically mandated fruitfulness with a grand and intense passion.

But alas, we are sinners, our children are sinners,and we live together in a fallen world. Here, bringing up children is nothing if it's not hard! More than hard, it can be painful, expensive, heart-breaking, frustrating, and even exasperating.

Isn't it these trials and sacrifices of bringing up children that make parents think twice about relaxing and fully enjoying the marital bond, trusting God to give His full measure of newborn blessings and maybe even hoping that they will be abundant? Isn't it this difficult and painful side of life that makes us wonder about the prudence of standing by and meekly watching God fill the quiver?

But think about it.

The perfect world that I proposed *is* reality-based! It is coming--and it is not long away for any of us! Life with our children will someday be just like I described: pure bliss.

The Bible teaches that God's Providence and our faithful labor to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord do work together to secure the salvation of most of our children, if not all of them. Someday, you and I will cast crowns before Jesus' feet and have the great joy of watching many or all of our children do the same.

Together with our children, we will sing hymns of praise to our wonderful, awesome, holy God Who has shown us such abundant, completely undeserved love and mercy! What a day that will be, praising the Lord with our children and our children's children after them!

I am convinced that most Christians make their childbearing decisions based on a spoonful of the ocean. They focus on these 9 months of getting through pregnancy or these 5 years of getting a child reasonably trained or these 20-or-so years of financial provision--or even these 50 to 70 years (at most) of watching, counseling, and praying.

Forgetting the full picture almost entirely, they set their thoughts on the 9 months or the 70 years or somewhere in between and they forget that when we've been in Heaven ten TRILLION years, we and our children will have no fewer days to sing God's praise than when we first met Jesus face to face!

"Set your affection on things above and not on things on the earth." Colossians 3:2

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Every plan, every action that is not focused on our future in Heaven with Christ is worthless, useless, bound to be lost and destroyed. But when we pour out our lives to receive, love, teach and train our children for *Jesus' sake*, we are making an investment that Eternity will give us no cause to regret!

"And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it." Mark 8:34, 35

Losing our lives here for the sake of Eternity is the way to save our lives *for* Eternity. Apply this!

Our children are conceived in us microscopic but eternal, fragile but indestructible. If God pleases and we bring them up in the admonition of the Lord, their lives are treasures destined for Heaven.

Our fertility is a talent. To some God has given a little, to others much--and none of us have a guarantee for the future.

To whom much is given, much will be required. The Spirit does not say that much *might be* required; He says that much *will be* required.

We will either spend our fertility for the glory of God, with our eyes on Eternity, trusting (and maybe even *asking*) God for the increase--or we will live with our hearts firmly fixed on these few fleeting moments of earthly life, bury our talent and concentrate on what is most comfortable for this short day.

We have such little faith! God has never once ceased to be in control of the creation of new life, not in any family ever. (John Calvin called the idea that children are conceived without direct, divine intervention a "preposterous error," based on Psalm 127:3.)

As the Child-giver blesses our homes with children, it is never with any other object but our immediate and eternal good. It is His design to conform us to the image of Christ, for His glory.

God does not at all require or demand or instruct us to provide Him with birth control. Isn't it incredible that any of us should be so presumptuous and illogical as to think that our *omnipotent* God requires or appreciates our feeble attempts to compel His hand?

Infinite power cannot exist apart from absolute self-control. We do not need "birth control" when the Creator, who is supremely wise and Good, has impeccable *self-control*. God's self-control, governed by His perfect wisdom, cannot ever fail to hold His Creativity to the limits that He Himself set in eternity past. (Ephesians 1:4)

Have children--invest in Eternity!

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

It Really is About the Jews...

I had opportunity the other day to sit down and do some reading in things eschatological. Something that leapt out at me was the amount of attention that God gives the nation of Israel. They really are going to lead the rest of the world into repentance in the millenium. I fear that a lot of eschatological views commit the very offense that the Apostle Paul warns us against in Romans 9: boasting against the natural branches. We act and speak as though the fulness of the Gentiles is really all there is and forget the promises that God made to Israel. He will keep his promises. God is not a man that he should lie.
That's Entertainment

Last night my husband took me to hear Great Big Sea a Newfie band that plays a combination of traditional folk and Celtic rock. Really great music, but I think I will forgo concerts from now on and stick to just playing the CD's. It took a while for my ears to recover and the distortion of the music because of the loudness detracted from the ability to enjoy the music. The concert was opened by another band called Crush and they confirmed my suspicions that I am turning into a fuddy duddy. I sat with my fingers in my ears to drown out as much of the noise as I could. My husband and I clapped loud and long at the end of the last song because we were overjoyed that they were stopping.


Last night my husband broke the news to me that a move could be in our near future. His company is laying off or offering buyout packages to 6000 employees. If he takes the buyout, it means a big income tax hit. If he stays, he would probably survive the layoffs, but it could mean having to relocate. This isn't such a tragedy but for one thing: My church. It is difficult enough to raise the children in the Faith, but doing so when you have a spouse who is not like-minded is worse. And doing it without the support of a church family is worse yet. I need to go and pray and get some peace about this.

Monday, September 23, 2002

I just hate it when I lose a good blog entry. I had a jim-dandy one written up and then I lost it. Wah!

No time to re-write. Too much homeschooling. Too much junk in my head to sort out. Too much wondering what to make for supper.

Thursday, September 19, 2002

Berek's teaching me how to make links in my posts. Was he successful?
Before anyone beats on me for being just another anti-American, I should point out that I was born in the USA and lived there for most of my childhood. I still have loyalty to the good ole US of A. But this doesn't prevent me from thinking that US foreign policy seems designed to provoke just about anybody else into fits. The US, as a corporate body, acts as though none of the 10 commandments applies to it or how it deals with its neighbors. Here are some thought-provoking questions:

Questions That Won't Be Asked About Iraq
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD

In the House of Representatives, September 10, 2002

Soon we hope to have hearings on the pending war with Iraq. I am
concerned there are some questions that won't be asked - and maybe
will not even be allowed to be asked. Here are some questions I
would like answered by those who are urging us to start this war.

1. Is it not true that the reason we did not bomb the Soviet Union at
the height of the Cold War was because we knew they could retaliate?

2. Is it not also true that we are willing to bomb Iraq now because
we know it cannot retaliate - which just confirms that there is no
real threat?

3. Is it not true that those who argue that even with inspections we
cannot be sure that Hussein might be hiding weapons, at the same time
imply that we can be more sure that weapons exist in the absence of

4. Is it not true that the UN's International Atomic Energy Agency
was able to complete its yearly verification mission to Iraq just
this year with Iraqi cooperation?

5. Is it not true that the intelligence community has been unable to
develop a case tying Iraq to global terrorism at all, much less the
attacks on the United States last year? Does anyone remember that 15
of the 19 hijackers came from Saudi Arabia and that none came from

6. Was former CIA counter-terrorism chief Vincent Cannistraro wrong
when he recently said there is no confirmed evidence of Iraq's links
to terrorism?

7. Is it not true that the CIA has concluded there is no evidence
that a Prague meeting between 9/11 hijacker Atta and Iraqi
intelligence took place?

8. Is it not true that northern Iraq, where the administration
claimed al-Qaeda were hiding out, is in the control of our "allies,"
the Kurds?

9. Is it not true that the vast majority of al-Qaeda leaders who
escaped appear to have safely made their way to Pakistan, another of
our so-called allies?

10. Has anyone noticed that Afghanistan is rapidly sinking into total
chaos, with bombings and assassinations becoming daily occurrences;
and that according to a recent UN report the al-Qaeda "is, by all
accounts, alive and well and poised to strike again, how, when, and
where it chooses"?

11. Why are we taking precious military and intelligence resources
away from tracking down those who did attack the United States - and
who may again attack the United States - and using them to invade
countries that have not attacked the United States?

12. Would an attack on Iraq not just confirm the Arab world's worst
suspicions about the US - and isn't this what bin Laden wanted?

13. How can Hussein be compared to Hitler when he has no navy or air
force, and now has an army 1/5 the size of twelve years ago, which
even then proved totally inept at defending the country?

14. Is it not true that the constitutional power to declare war is
exclusively that of the Congress? Should presidents, contrary to the
Constitution, allow Congress to concur only when pressured by public
opinion? Are presidents permitted to rely on the UN for permission to
go to war?

15. Are you aware of a Pentagon report studying charges that
thousands of Kurds in one village were gassed by the Iraqis, which
found no conclusive evidence that Iraq was responsible, that Iran
occupied the very city involved, and that evidence indicated the type
of gas used was more likely controlled by Iran not Iraq?

16. Is it not true that anywhere between 100,000 and 300,000 US
soldiers have suffered from Persian Gulf War syndrome from the first
Gulf War, and that thousands may have died?

17. Are we prepared for possibly thousands of American casualties in
a war against a country that does not have the capacity to attack the
United States?

18. Are we willing to bear the economic burden of a $100 billion war
against Iraq, with oil prices expected to skyrocket and further
rattle an already shaky American economy? How about an estimated 30
years occupation of Iraq that some have deemed necessary to "build
democracy" there?

19. Iraq's alleged violations of UN resolutions are given as reason
to initiate an attack, yet is it not true that hundreds of UN
Resolutions have been ignored by various countries without penalty?

20. Did former President Bush not cite the UN Resolution of 1990 as
the reason he could not march into Baghdad, while supporters of a new
attack assert that it is the very reason we can march into Baghdad?

21. Is it not true that, contrary to current claims, the no-fly zones
were set up by Britain and the United States without specific
approval from the United Nations?

22. If we claim membership in the international community and conform
to its rules only when it pleases us, does this not serve to
undermine our position, directing animosity toward us by both friend
and foe?

23. How can our declared goal of bringing democracy to Iraq be
believable when we prop up dictators throughout the Middle East and
support military tyrants like Musharraf in Pakistan, who overthrew a
democratically-elected president?

24. Are you familiar with the 1994 Senate Hearings that revealed the
U.S. knowingly supplied chemical and biological materials to Iraq
during the Iran-Iraq war and as late as 1992 - including after the
alleged Iraqi gas attack on a Kurdish village?

25. Did we not assist Saddam Hussein's rise to power by supporting
and encouraging his invasion of Iran? Is it honest to criticize
Saddam now for his invasion of Iran, which at the time we actively

26. Is it not true that preventive war is synonymous with an act of
aggression, and has never been considered a moral or legitimate US

27. Why do the oil company executives strongly support this war if
oil is not the real reason we plan to take over Iraq?

28. Why is it that those who never wore a uniform and are confident
that they won't have to personally fight this war are more anxious
for this war than our generals?

29. What is the moral argument for attacking a nation that has not
initiated aggression against us, and could not if it wanted?

30. Where does the Constitution grant us permission to wage war for
any reason other than self-defense?

31. Is it not true that a war against Iraq rejects the sentiments of
the time-honored Treaty of Westphalia, nearly 400 years ago, that
countries should never go into another for the purpose of regime

32. Is it not true that the more civilized a society is, the less
likely disagreements will be settled by war?

33. Is it not true that since World War II Congress has not declared
war and - not coincidentally - we have not since then had a clear-cut

34. Is it not true that Pakistan, especially through its intelligence
services, was an active supporter and key organizer of the Taliban?

35. Why don't those who want war bring a formal declaration of war
resolution to the floor of Congress?

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Your average life span is:
90 Years Old
By modifying your Health, Lifestyle, Diet and Environment you can live to be: 99 Years Old
You were born on Tuesday, January 10, 1961. You have lived 15,226 days and have 17,770 days left to live. Lets make them count!
You should die on Sunday May 14, 2051 at 11:16:54 AM.

Taken from my lifespan calculator found at

Monday, September 16, 2002

An Eventful Weekend

Never a dull moment. We had a guest from England this past weekend: a medical doctor interested in our presbytery and wanting to meet some of our families. There was some fear amongst those who know me well that he would sustain some sort of injury in my home, due to my well known antipathy to most forms of allopathic medical care. He survived the ordeal with nary a scratch, bite or bruise. My mother taught me that guest are sacrosanct and not to be beat upon. Actually, I had a very pleasant visit with him and I hope he had one too.

We also had a Japanese comic on a bicycle come to see us. He is from Tokyo and is a unique character. His bicycle was equipped with a custom made bike rack for holding his carbon guitar. He also carried an amplifier for his guitar which weighed about 60 kg. He said he was often tempted to chuck it off the bike when in the mountains! I don't blame him. Yuki entertained us with flamenco music, country and western, old Elvis Presley tunes, The Entertainer by Scott Joplin, traditional Japanese music and music from Italy. He also kept the children entertained with magic tricks. Saturday night everyone watched Lord of the Rings on the tv while Chris and I locked ourselves in the sunroom in a vain attempt to carry on a conversation over the sounds of battles being fought in the dwarves caverns.

Sunday afternoon brought the news that one of my daughters had been in a car accident. She got a broken arm and concussion but was otherwise unhurt. Her friend didn't do so well. She ended up in icu with a torn liver, perforated stomach and bowel, and pneumonia. I had warned Trista of this girl's dangerous driving and unreliability. Now she has learned yet again that my friend Marjory was right all along. Marjory's favorite saying: "Life is rough, life is tough, and life is full of surprises. And the first thing life teaches you is.... your mother is always RIGHT."

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

This is our week for showing hospitality to international guests. We may be getting a Japanese bicycle tourist for a visit tomorrow. My husband was working by the side of the road when this guy drove past. He stopped him to speak with him. It's been almost 22 years since we did bicycle touring after we were married. My rear end still aches in remembrance.

On Saturday, D. V. we get a guest from England. Looking forward to the visit but oh the house! You can house clean or homeschool, but you can't do both! Or at least, not very well.

Had a really good laugh today. Go to if you want one too.

Monday, September 09, 2002

"Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits: who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's....

The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy... He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities...

Bless the Lord, o my soul!"

Excerpts from Psalm 103

I am becoming more and more convinced that daily gratitude and a counting on one's blessings are a sovereign remedy against discontentment and grumbling and all the ills that flow from them. Even when we experience a tragic providence or suffer wrong, we are not being dealt with according to our iniquity. This is true even for the reprobate.

I am ashamed when I think of all the times I have grumbled and have forgotten the good things in life that I enjoy. Do I have sleepless nights? At least I lie on a soft bed while enduring them. Is my house a mess? At least I have a house, and a pretty comfortable one at that. In fact, I live and eat better than kings of old. When I weigh all the advantages that I enjoy in this life against the petty miseries I have endured, I have much to be thankful for.

On another note... Yesterday I heard a sermon on Mark 10:23-27. It was a potent reminder against the sin of covetousness. It is impossible for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. It is impossible for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God if his trust is in his riches. Money can get you a lot of places in this life, but it won't buy you heaven.

But is covetousness limited just to money and things?

Pastor Greg made the point that if we desire anything above God -- if there is anything we would not give up in this life in order to have Christ -- we are sinning through covetousness. Our faith and our happiness lie not in our spouse, children, friends, family, calling, interests, health, supplements, studies, etc. Our faith is to be in Christ, and Christ alone. I guess the acid test for determining where our heart's treasure is, is to look at the amount of time we spend on anything compared to the time we devote to communing with Christ. If communion with Christ has become a chore, we are in trouble.

Friday, September 06, 2002

Maybe I am discovering a reason why so many doctors in the medical profession seem to be so hard-hearted and coldly clinical. Working with people and their ills brings you face to face with mortality: theirs and yours. Being impersonal and clinical puts up a shield against such thoughts and keeps you from breaking your heart over the pain others feel.

We are born decayed and decaying, but if we have reasonably good health, a lot of us can ignore this fact for a long time. When you finally do face it, it can be quite a shock.

I was supposed to build what is called an "anchor" in neuro-linguistic programming, to keep out distracting thoughts and distress over others when I work on them, and to bring feelings of tranquility. I have yet to put it to the test, but I wonder if it will really be effective. Will I be able to be compassionate and yet not lose my perspective? I should ask my nurse-sister how she does it.

Thursday, September 05, 2002

It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Stress will do that to you.

I can't seem to find the right balance anymore. Not enough activity is as stressful to me as too much. But I rarely have a chance to have too little activity any more. In fact, I can't remember when that last happened.

Here is my to do list of things to get done:

1)Write my exam for my biokinesionics course and turn in 30 clinicals with it. This involves setting up appointments with people and then spending an hour or more with them checking them over and suggesting ways and means for fixing what ails them.

2) Finish writing and editing my weight loss course curriculum, set up a website for it, and prepare for doing a seminar around the end of October. Dh says to look at this as a sort of vacation (I'm going to Alabama D.V.) Ha! Since when is standing in front of a bunch of strangers and talking a vacation? And with a baby? Sweet Elodie is coming with me. At least she will keep me somewhat grounded. I hate being away from my kids as much as they drive me crazy at times.

3)Finish setting up the curriculum for homeschooling and then teach it or oversee it getting done. The responsibility for the children's education is the most burdensome and one I dare not lay down or neglect. It could be just because it is the wee hours, which tend to induce black thoughts, but I worry that they are all going to grow up ignorant. Worse yet, I picture all of them leaving the Faith because I wasn't diligent enough in catechising or living it out in front of them. This raising of children can be hard on the heart.

Tuesday, September 03, 2002


I just got finished reading some of Emeth's posts on her blogs and what she wrote about missing her brothers resonated with me deeply.

This past week as I was finishing up my course on biokinesionics, my husband took seven of our children on a camping trip for a couple of days. I had the house to myself with only sweet Elodie for company. I knew I wouldn't enjoy being by myself so I invited a young couple who are on the course with me and who were also from out of town. We had a wonderful meal together and really enjoyed getting to know one another.

Tuesday, I managed to get home late, but the house was eerily silent. It wasn't too bad at first, but when it came time for bed, it was very lonely going around and locking up and shutting off the lights without having anyone in the house besides me and Elodie and a few mice in my basement. And this is a foretaste of the future when my children are grown and gone. I don't like it.

At times I sigh over the lack of time to sit and read uninterrupted for a few minutes. There always seems to be a crisis brewing somewhere. But then I go to the library and find I can't read at all because NO ONE interrupts me. How did this happen?

I confess to stressing out today and wishing I could run away when the kids got noisy and started squabbling over silly things. I need to remember the silence and how little I liked it and be thankful at least that they are still here for now.

One thing I wish my children would learn is how to appreciate this time in their life with their siblings. Once they are grown and gone, they will never be living with one another like this again. The shared history is one of the most important ingredients of memories and companionship. This is a good time of life if they would only recognize it. Responsibilities and cares are few. Times of fun are many.

I miss my sister. She was only 16 when I got married and left home for good. We have never lived in the same province since then and only see each other every few years. We were never close as children. There was too much jealously on my part over the perceived favoritism of my mother towards her, and too much temptation to tease me into a frenzy on her part. But since then we have become better friends. She called me the other day for some help and encouragement that she didn't think she could get from anyone else. It was truly a blessing to give comfort to one who is not only my sibling, but also my sister in Christ.

Monday, September 02, 2002

You know how irritating in-laws can be? I think I am discovering the reason why that is now that I are one. It is a lot like when you have your first child. As a new parent you feel that your life and ability to parent is on trial and when your child screws up it reflects badly on you. Well guess what? That feeling intensifies when that child grows up and marries. Then you get to watch them run their own household and you find yourself thinking things like:

"I thought I taught her how to clean better than that!"
"Why in the world are they eating THAT?"
"Why did they buy ______ when they clearly can't afford it?"
"Why doesn't she/he raise my grandchild better than that?"

The temptation to give advice so that the child won't be a failure as a housewife, husband, or parent and therefore a bad reflection on you is very strong. I have developed a callous on my tongue from biting it so many times. But I made a vow to myself when my children married: I would not give any advice unless asked for it. I also vowed that I would not cause my children to feel like they were about to undergo a white glove inspection when they saw me coming for a visit.