Foster Mother?

It appears that I am destined to be a foster mother at least for the time being. I find this a rather ironic turn of events given the history of what my eldest girls did when they left home.

The young hitch-hiker that my husband picked up went down to Vancouver with us last weekend. Then he came back with us because no one wanted him there. So now he is with us.

I confess that I am a reluctant foster mother. I really thought I already had enough on my plate with homeschooling 7 of our 9 kids at home, doing my practicum for my biokinesionics course, writing lessons for my weight loss program, and preparing for a seminar in Alabama. Now, I have to add learning the fine art of psychological terrorism of spoiled teens in an effort to introduce him to the real world. Cole already had a taste today when I made him go to the school district office to figure out how to get into school. I let him flounder for a while and then went in and helped out with some of the details. It is looking likely that he will be doing correspondance for this semester. Ugh. I would have preferred to send him on the bus to school because it would mean that he would be getting up early and be out the door and gone for most of the day and I wouldn't have to deal with him at least for that portion of time. But that is not likely to happen now. [sigh]

On the other hand, maybe he needs to be here to learn a bit of self-discipline and to hear the Gospel. He asks intelligent questions during family worship and seems to pay attention at the Bible Studies and during corporate worship. I guess time will tell us what kind of impact we are to make in his life.

Old Friends

One of the pleasures of Heaven will be fellowshipping with old friends there. I had a wonderful time visiting with "Mother" Grace, a wonderful woman who serves as my Titus 2 model of godly womanhood. I also had a lovely visit with my friend Iris and her family. And then there was a nice chat by phone with my friend Loretta. Last, but not least, was my conversation with Bob. Bob was responsible for rescuing me from Arminian darkness and introducing me to Calvinistic light. Now, when I have the time, we are going to engage in some discussions on eschatology. I have had the feeling in the past year that this was one area in which I wasn't going to be allowed to rest. God seems to be bringing people my way that are intent on discussing this. So, now that I have settled the question of the regulative principle of worship, headcoverings, paedobaptism, exclusive psalmody and covenanting, I guess it is time to delve headlong into eschatology.

My Vacation

Well, ok, it was really only a weekend, but that is the first vacation away that I have had since I don't know when. Marc and I went down to Vancouver so he could attend a seminar and I could kick back and have a rest. While Marc was at the seminar, I occupied my time by playing with Elodie, watching TV and CONTROLLING THE REMOTE in the motel room, wandering the streets of Vancouver, and browsing through the books in Chapters, an enormous book store which is part of a chain. I also sampled a dessert from Death by Chocolate, and sipped on various fancy decoctions from Starbucks. Almost heaven. I also got a chance to spend some time with some old friends that I knew when I lived in the area.

Vancouver is an interesting city. We were right down in the heart of it. Prince George is 500 miles north and is considerably chilly right now with a skiff of snow today. Yet in Vancouver, they had impatiens and pansies blooming away right in the heart of the city. Wild. There were also street people to be seen sleeping on the sidewalks downtown, next to their shopping carts filled with old bags. At one point Elodie and I were out for a walk and a street person approached me and asked for some spare change. When I responded that I didn't have any to spare, he looked thoughtfully at Elodie for a few moments and then recommended I get some plastic to keep her dry (it was drizzling out).

Another interesting event was coming to a street corner only to find myself in the middle of a bunch of flaming sodomites, one of whome was dressed in a feather boa, high heels, a black furry skirt and a bouffant hairdo and nothing else. I think he even shaved his legs. He was about 8 feet tall when you included the hair do and shoes. I crossed to the other side of the street quickly.

I like taking tests.

Here is the results of another test I took:


All Guardians (SJs) share the following core characteristics:

Guardians pride themselves on being dependable, helpful, and hard-working.
Guardians make loyal mates, responsible parents, and stabilizing leaders.
Guardians tend to be dutiful, cautious, humble, and focused on credentials and traditions.
Guardians are concerned citizens who trust authority, join groups, seek security, prize gratitude, and dream of meting out justice.
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply--and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.

Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population.

Or how about this one?

Your distinct personality, The White Knight, might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. Don Quixote was a White Knight as was Joan of Arc, the Lone Ranger and Crusader Rabbit. As a White Knight you expect nothing in return for your good deeds. You are one of the true "Givers" of the world. You are the anonymous philanthropist who shares your wealth, your time and your life with others. To give, is its own reward and as a White Knight you seek no other. On the positive side you are merciful, sympathetic, helpful, giving and heroic. On the negative side you may be impulsively decisive, sentimental and misdirected. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

This test result was somewhat reassuring:

Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

"Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative. "

Uhhh.... Glad to see I only have a moderate case of this.

His Royal Brattiness

The young lad that my husband picked up off the side of the road will soon be given a shove out the door. The only question is in which direction he will be shoved. The past two weeks have given us an opportunity to become better acquainted with him. Overall, he hasn't been too bad to have around. For a kid who is 14 and who wasn't raised in a Christian home, he is curiously naive about life. Certainly not the young tough that he likes to portray himself as. Last night the terrible truth about why he left home came out. It seems that he considers his mother to be really unreasonable because she has, on occasion, woke him up out of a sound sleep to make him wash dishes or sweep floors that he had neglected to do when asked. Too bad, so sad. My foot is itching to boot his butt for his mother's sake.

My husband said that the guys at work had a discussion about the state of kids today when the young lad came up. One of his co-workers said, "You want to know how to ruin a country? Just spoil the kids rotten! The state our country is in is because we have been doing this for the last 25 years!"

You know, I think he is on to something.

Romantic Voyeurism

Lately I have been able to indulge in a bit of pleasant romantic voyeurism through reading the blogs of Rick and Rachel . It is much more pleasant and less nerve-wracking to watch other people's children become romantically involved than it is to watch your own do it.

Children as Talents

It occured to me the other day, as I was musing on the Parable of the Talents, that children could be the equivalent of talents. The practice of daily family worship, catechising, and corporate worship and living out the Christian faith before them is a form of investment in their lives, which, if you believe the promises of God, will yield an increase. Failure to invest in your children this way is tantamount to burying them in the ground. And we all know what happens to those who bury their talents...

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

Take this test.

Strays

Some people bring home stray cats or dogs. My husband has taken to bringing home stray people lately.

A few weeks ago it was a Japanese tourist on a bicycle. This past week it was a 14 year old runaway boy. He is still with us, his parents know, and right now we are taking things on a day by day basis with no real long term plans one way or the other.

The funny thing is, this whole thing has had a "divine appointment" feel to it for my husband, myself, and our eldest son. "C" has slipped into our family with hardly a ripple. He has joined us in family worship every day and asks intelligent questions and makes intelligent comments. He has even been reproving some of the children about some of the things that we discussed in family worship. Now one would be tempted to think that he is playing up to us by doing this, but this is something the children are telling me that he does when no adult is around to admire his grasp of things biblical. He is very bright and did the homeschool curriculum I assigned to him without a murmur and completed it satisfactorily.

Anyhow, this whole thing has enabled us to practice homemaking as a form of missions work.

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Tomorrow is the Lord's Day and we are having a big turkey dinner with all kinds of goodies to go with it. My daughter, son in law, and grand-daughter will be joining us for it. This is the first meal we will have shared with them since Trista got married almost a year ago. Yippee! Progress is being made!

I Feel Old

Or maybe it is because I don't get out enough. But most of the blogs I read are of people who are younger than me. Are there any other fuddie duddies who blog besides me? Am I mutton dressed like a lamb?

Ingratitude

One of the things I have noticed about children is how ungrateful they can be. You can spend the better part of a day burning gas, spending money and doing things that you personally don't enjoy doing, in order to gratify them. And what do they do? Whine if you don't grant the next thing, pout, and focus on the things that they think you should have done or given them.

What does this teach me? How heinous the sin of ingratitude is.

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be know of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. For since the creation of the world, His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and godhead, so that they are without excuse, because , although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened." Romans 1:18-21

Very sobering words. God's wrath is revealed, partly because men were not thankful.

How often have I been unthankful and grumbled at the circumstances of my life instead of rejoicing over the MANY mercies I have been shown?

Bless the Lord, oh my soul and forget not all His benefits!

Even Better...

Turkey with gravy, mashed yams or sweet potatoes, and cranberry just doesn't compare to a crying baby who brightens up into beautiful smiles as soon as they see you. Elodie is at that delightful stage where she looks at me as though the sun and moon rise and set by me. It is such a wonderful thing that we mothers are granted when we can offer instant safety and security to a crying child by merely picking them up and giving a snuggle or offering a warm breast of milk. To see the anxious looks and rigid posture melt into complete relaxation is better than rubies, diamonds, mink coats, and mansions.

One of My Least Favorite Things...

Popular culture. I spent another hour and a half at the hospital today while I waited for one of my older girls to get her cast changed. This gave me the rare opportunity to read a popular woman's magazine that happened to be in one of the waiting areas. It has been a while since I read one and now I remember why. The utter crassness and lack of dignity concerning what should be intimate details of one's life are blazoned across the cover. I didn't know it, but there is a fashion in relation to breast size. In the 60's and 70's small was in. In the 80's and 90's big was in and now in the second millenium the look is moderate and healthy. Hmmm... I think the only time I was in fashion was the 60's and 70's. Too bad the fashion wasn't for stretchmarks. I'd have it made.

One of my Favorite Things....

...A mouthful of a combination of dark turkey meat, gravy, mashed sweet potato and a little bit of cranberry sauce. Pure heaven.

PRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I had a wondrous dream,

One set of footprints there were seen.

The footprints of my precious Lord,

But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,

And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"

Those prints are large and round and neat,

"But Lord, they are too big for my little feet."

"My child," He said in somber tones,

"For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,

The walk of faith, you would not know,

So I got tired, I got fed up,

And there I dropped you on your butt."

"Because in life, there comes a time,

When one must fight , and one must climb,

When one must rise and take a stand,

Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

-- Anonymous

Bless you, Wayne. The rest of the day was not a dead loss.

I have a friend who has recently been in the hospital for an anxiety disorder that makes her throat tighten up to the point that she is unable to swallow food. She has lost over 75 lbs. and is a nervous wreck. She was actually hospitalized and put on strong tranquilizers as it was the only way she could eat. They recently released her from the hospital because they are overcrowded and needed her bed.

Today some of her children were here for a birthday party. When she arrived to pick them up, I could see that she was not doing well. In fact, she had dropped off her youngest with us at the swim center and literally ran away and hoped we would take care of her (we did). She looked very pale like she would faint, was extremely embarrased about leaving her daughter with us, and she was having a mini-panic attack complete with an inability to swallow and nausea.

I thought I might be able to help her, so I had her come in and sit down with me in my sun room. We began with something easy -- her nausea and I used a technique called EFT which is something that Dr. Mercola, a Christian osteopathic physician, also promotes.

It took only two rounds of tapping for her nausea to disappear. Then we began to work on the tightness in her throat. One round of tapping brought no noticeable relief. So then I changed tactics and told her that I wanted her to think about what emotional trigger was causing her to stress out so much that she was feeling "choked." I also assured her that she could speak in her own language (she is Finnish) if she felt more comfortable doing this and if she didn't want me to know her issues. (If it was someone who only spoke English, I would have them Hum or insert a code word if they didn't want me to know the issue -- this respects their borders and privacy.) Now here is what is interesting -- after two rounds of tapping while she spoke in Finnish with me giving some directions in English, I could see a shift take place in her. Her cheeks, which had previously been very pale, all of a sudden grew rosy in color. She also relaxed in a profound way. But even more interesting is the fact that she began to pray in Finnish. I kept tapping on various points as she kept praying and stopped only when she stopped and I could see that it was appropriate. She opened her eyes and the first thing she said to me was, "God is in what you are doing."

She still had a tiny bit of tightness in her chest, but the tightness in her throat was gone. This had only happened before under the influence of strong narcotics. She later called me on the phone because she started to have a panic attack and we were able to clear that completely as well.

Her experience with prayer is not unusual. I am finding that if you can help people clear emotional short circuits in their systems, it becomes easier for them to pray about the sins that may be causing them the problems on the spiritual level. One of the things that really seemed to work with her was when I had her repeat the phrase, "Even though I have this problem with ________, I deeply and profoundly forgive and accept myself for my part in causing this, and I completely forgive those who have had a part in it as well. The floodgates opened and relief was soon found.

Anyhow, I thought I would share this little bit of experience with it as a demonstration of the good it can do.

Hmmmm.... I am moderately obsessive compulsive according to this test.

Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.

ARGH!!!!

It has been one of THOSE DAYS. I would like to bite chunks out of my pillow, or better yet, someone's leg! And that is about all I can safely say.

My friend Valerie wrote the following beautiful passage in an email lately. I couldn't resist posting it here as it epitomizes the attitudes we should have towards the children God gives us:


Imagine with me a perfect world. Suppose that we can enjoy our children without any expense or trouble or inconvenience.

Suppose that there is no such thing as painful pregnancy; there is no morning sickness and no labor.

Imagine what it would be like if we were fabulously wealthy and living in spacious homes on beautiful grounds with no concern whatsoever for our future provision. What if we had no shoes to buy, no clothes to make, and no need to shop sales or cut coupons to feed our children?

What would it be like if they never needed to visit the doctor, never got coughs or fevers, and never threw up in the middle of the night?

What if they always obeyed, never cried, never whined, never complained and never pinched each other? What if they always praised Jesus and had no other attitude but love for God and His People, including their parents and siblings?

Wouldn't life be lovely? Wouldn't it be beautiful?

If my picture were reality-based, how many children would most Christians want? More than one or two? More than they have now? I'm guessing so.

There are many aspects to life with children that *are* precious, some that are almost pure bliss, so I suspect that if the difficulty and sorrow were removed, if life with them were nothing but unadulterated joy, Christians would have more children. I suspect that we would be pursuing Biblically mandated fruitfulness with a grand and intense passion.

But alas, we are sinners, our children are sinners,and we live together in a fallen world. Here, bringing up children is nothing if it's not hard! More than hard, it can be painful, expensive, heart-breaking, frustrating, and even exasperating.

Isn't it these trials and sacrifices of bringing up children that make parents think twice about relaxing and fully enjoying the marital bond, trusting God to give His full measure of newborn blessings and maybe even hoping that they will be abundant? Isn't it this difficult and painful side of life that makes us wonder about the prudence of standing by and meekly watching God fill the quiver?

But think about it.

The perfect world that I proposed *is* reality-based! It is coming--and it is not long away for any of us! Life with our children will someday be just like I described: pure bliss.

The Bible teaches that God's Providence and our faithful labor to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord do work together to secure the salvation of most of our children, if not all of them. Someday, you and I will cast crowns before Jesus' feet and have the great joy of watching many or all of our children do the same.

Together with our children, we will sing hymns of praise to our wonderful, awesome, holy God Who has shown us such abundant, completely undeserved love and mercy! What a day that will be, praising the Lord with our children and our children's children after them!

I am convinced that most Christians make their childbearing decisions based on a spoonful of the ocean. They focus on these 9 months of getting through pregnancy or these 5 years of getting a child reasonably trained or these 20-or-so years of financial provision--or even these 50 to 70 years (at most) of watching, counseling, and praying.

Forgetting the full picture almost entirely, they set their thoughts on the 9 months or the 70 years or somewhere in between and they forget that when we've been in Heaven ten TRILLION years, we and our children will have no fewer days to sing God's praise than when we first met Jesus face to face!

"Set your affection on things above and not on things on the earth." Colossians 3:2

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:19-21

Every plan, every action that is not focused on our future in Heaven with Christ is worthless, useless, bound to be lost and destroyed. But when we pour out our lives to receive, love, teach and train our children for *Jesus' sake*, we are making an investment that Eternity will give us no cause to regret!

"And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it." Mark 8:34, 35

Losing our lives here for the sake of Eternity is the way to save our lives *for* Eternity. Apply this!

Our children are conceived in us microscopic but eternal, fragile but indestructible. If God pleases and we bring them up in the admonition of the Lord, their lives are treasures destined for Heaven.

Our fertility is a talent. To some God has given a little, to others much--and none of us have a guarantee for the future.

To whom much is given, much will be required. The Spirit does not say that much *might be* required; He says that much *will be* required.

We will either spend our fertility for the glory of God, with our eyes on Eternity, trusting (and maybe even *asking*) God for the increase--or we will live with our hearts firmly fixed on these few fleeting moments of earthly life, bury our talent and concentrate on what is most comfortable for this short day.

We have such little faith! God has never once ceased to be in control of the creation of new life, not in any family ever. (John Calvin called the idea that children are conceived without direct, divine intervention a "preposterous error," based on Psalm 127:3.)

As the Child-giver blesses our homes with children, it is never with any other object but our immediate and eternal good. It is His design to conform us to the image of Christ, for His glory.

God does not at all require or demand or instruct us to provide Him with birth control. Isn't it incredible that any of us should be so presumptuous and illogical as to think that our *omnipotent* God requires or appreciates our feeble attempts to compel His hand?

Infinite power cannot exist apart from absolute self-control. We do not need "birth control" when the Creator, who is supremely wise and Good, has impeccable *self-control*. God's self-control, governed by His perfect wisdom, cannot ever fail to hold His Creativity to the limits that He Himself set in eternity past. (Ephesians 1:4)

Have children--invest in Eternity!

It Really is About the Jews...

I had opportunity the other day to sit down and do some reading in things eschatological. Something that leapt out at me was the amount of attention that God gives the nation of Israel. They really are going to lead the rest of the world into repentance in the millenium. I fear that a lot of eschatological views commit the very offense that the Apostle Paul warns us against in Romans 9: boasting against the natural branches. We act and speak as though the fulness of the Gentiles is really all there is and forget the promises that God made to Israel. He will keep his promises. God is not a man that he should lie.