Day 3 and Why Nursing Babies are a Hazard
I'll try not to be too boring with my reports by adding in a few other things to make it interesting.
First the report -- did another walk this morning, followed by some light resistance training in my upper body. Had two eggs and back bacon for breakfast and a protein shake with yogurt, frozen peaches, whey powder, water, and some EFA's added to it for lunch.
Snacked on left over pork souvlaki. Yum, even when cold.
Cheated with an iced cap from Tim Horton's. Ate an organic apple while at the health food store. Nobly refrained from buying organic chocolate on sale. Ate two bites of a piece of pizza and then gave the rest away. Hmmm. Got some lamb kebabs for supper, but truthfully, I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat any.
It probably looks like I am not eating very much and am really restraining myself, but the truth is that I am paying attention to how I feel hungerwise and am learning not to bother eating if I am not hungry, and only eating to satiety when I am.
On to James. What a little rascal. So there we are in the grocery store and I go over to James, who sitting in the cart looking adorable and happy. I bend down to give him a little kiss, and without warning he pastes me one in the eye. And then laughs as I stagger back clutching my eyeball.
But that wasn't nearly so bad as what he did later. A baby who nurses at the breast is very dangerous.
I am at the checkout stand waiting to pay for my groceries. A gentleman in front of me is packing his groceries with his daughter as I wait. I foolishly come within range of James' gumby-like arms and he shoots out a fist, grabs ahold of the front of my shirt and begins to yank it down. I swiftly grab the shirt and hold it up while paying the clerk. As I remove my hand to take the receipt from the clerk, James strikes like lightening, only this time he manages to reveal my cleavage, my bra, and even the old stretch marks around my navel. The gentleman goes pop-eyed as I rapidly haul my neckline back up to the neck where it belongs while turning several interesting shades of burgundy. Says the gentleman, "Boy, he's fast with his hands!"
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Day 2
Yes, I walked again today. Then I went to the chiropracters. Again. He still hadn't fixed my hip properly and it was still giving me pepper but things are better now. The rest of the day was spent walking all over various stores buying groceries, fencing for pigs, and assorted items. So much for activity.
Eating: I had a bagel for breakfast. And an iced cappacino from Tim Hortons. Sounds low cal and healthy right? Not. However, the day wasn't a dead loss. In addition to drinking water and cranberry water, I had pork souvlaki and salad for supper. Wasn't hungry for lunch so I didn't remember to eat and I was still out doing stuff anyway. Maybe I'll have a grapefruit before I go to bed. Maybe I'll finish capping all my herbs so I can get back on that regime again.
In other news, I have not got a thing done with regard to housecleaning. Maybe I should just forget the pig fence and invite the pigs in here.
Yes, I walked again today. Then I went to the chiropracters. Again. He still hadn't fixed my hip properly and it was still giving me pepper but things are better now. The rest of the day was spent walking all over various stores buying groceries, fencing for pigs, and assorted items. So much for activity.
Eating: I had a bagel for breakfast. And an iced cappacino from Tim Hortons. Sounds low cal and healthy right? Not. However, the day wasn't a dead loss. In addition to drinking water and cranberry water, I had pork souvlaki and salad for supper. Wasn't hungry for lunch so I didn't remember to eat and I was still out doing stuff anyway. Maybe I'll have a grapefruit before I go to bed. Maybe I'll finish capping all my herbs so I can get back on that regime again.
In other news, I have not got a thing done with regard to housecleaning. Maybe I should just forget the pig fence and invite the pigs in here.
Monday, May 29, 2006
The Race to Lose
Today is day one of a weight loss challenge that I issued to my friend Willena. In five weeks we will be meeting together at a Covenanter conventicle my local society is hosting this summer. In the meantime, I want to drop some more weight and so does she, so this is where we are going to post our daily progress.
Now I don't know about Willena, but I am NOT going to give out any measurements or weight. I will however, give a daily report on what I am doing and what I have eaten.
Day 1 -- Cranberry water and then some kombucha tea in the morning. That was it until supper time when I had a tiny bit of salad, a few pieces of roasted potatoes and a few slices of grilled steak. Lest you think I was deliberately starving myself, I had a touch of stomach flu today and spent most of my time sleeping. I did, however, manage to get in a walk this morning. And I did a few bicep curls in a desultory way.
Tomorrow will be better.
Today is day one of a weight loss challenge that I issued to my friend Willena. In five weeks we will be meeting together at a Covenanter conventicle my local society is hosting this summer. In the meantime, I want to drop some more weight and so does she, so this is where we are going to post our daily progress.
Now I don't know about Willena, but I am NOT going to give out any measurements or weight. I will however, give a daily report on what I am doing and what I have eaten.
Day 1 -- Cranberry water and then some kombucha tea in the morning. That was it until supper time when I had a tiny bit of salad, a few pieces of roasted potatoes and a few slices of grilled steak. Lest you think I was deliberately starving myself, I had a touch of stomach flu today and spent most of my time sleeping. I did, however, manage to get in a walk this morning. And I did a few bicep curls in a desultory way.
Tomorrow will be better.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Another Gem from DW
The Role of Biblical WomenTopic: Themes In Proverbs
We live in a fallen world in which God works redemptively. This means that nothing can be simply assumed to be in submission to God. It can only be assumed to be in submission to Him, or not. Consequently, we must consider all things as a blessing, or a curse, depending upon its relationship to the Word of God. "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones" (Prov. 12:4). This is why women are a wonder to have around. Or a horror.
I want to conclude with a positive statement about women from Proverbs, and so we will begin with certain problem women. When women are disobedient, the dislocations in our lives are severe. One obvious problem is that of the seductive woman -- "This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, and says, ‘I have done no wickedness’" (30:20). The wisdom of God found in Scripture brings with it as no small blessing the fact that it preserves a man from a horrible pit (2:16; 6:24; 7:5). This horrible pit is the mouth of an immoral woman; those who are hated by God will fall there (22:14). We sometimes assume that if we do certain things (like commit adultery) then we will incur the displeasure of God. This is true, but it is also true that if we incur His displeasure, we will do certain things (like commit adultery). The one who is hated by God will fall into the arms of an immoral woman. This principle must be seen by obedient faith, because an immoral woman looks good (7:10) and sounds good (5:3). Nothing is accomplished by Christians denying the obvious. But the Bible also teaches that when all is said and done, adultery is a form of suicide. "Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul" (6:32). Those who only think about the good appearance of promised of sexual pleasure "all night long" do not see that the end of this is death. But those who see that the end is death sometimes try to pretend that the beginning is equally obvious. But unless we are trusting God's word on this, it is not as obvious.
Another problem is caused by the quarrelsome woman -- Proverbs has much to say about the clamor of foolish women (9:13). Better to live in the corner of an attic than to be around a contentious woman (21:9; 25:24). Better to be out in the desert than to be around a quarrelsome woman (21:19). To be in a house that leaks during a downpour is about the same (27:15). In short, the Bible teaches that quarrelsome women are a pain in the neck.
Contrasted with this kind of covenantal chastizement, what does Proverbs say about biblical women? As we have seen, a foolish woman is a destructive force. In contrast, what are the characteristics of the obedient woman? First, she is described as a sexually superior woman. Husbands are called to rejoice sexually with their wives (5:18); they are commanded to be enraptured (5:19). This is something the husband is commanded to do, and is able to do, but not alone. In other words, a biblical wife can outdo all the one-night-stands in the world. Information to the contrary is nothing more than lying propaganda. She is also described as an edifying woman. "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands" (14:1). A godly wife builds and contributes. She blesses her husband and family in tangible ways. And we are also told that a good woman is, like our salvation, a gift of God, lest any should boast. A good wife is a tangible sign of God's blessing (18:22). Put another way, a prudent wife is from the Lord (19:14).
But this is still a little general. When we look at some of the particulars, we may be surprised. This is because many people assume that the "biblical wife" and the "traditional wife" are one and the same. In some respects, yes, but in many, no. The book of Proverbs is about two archtypical women -- Folly and Wisdom. And when we come to the end of the book, we have a particular woman described, one who embodies the characteristics of Wisdom. And many Christians know this, and refer jokingly to the "Proverbs 31 woman," but they often do this without looking closely at what she actually does.
So when we affirm the biblical role of women, we must take care at the same time to avoid overreaction. The biblical woman and the traditional woman are not necessarily identical. Of course, there will be many areas where we see the traditional woman as being closer to the biblical norm than the "modern feminist." But this is not how we are to make judgments -- grading on a curve. For example, let us consider in detail the ideal woman of Proverbs 31. Such a consideration is not altered at all through the recognition that a woman capable of everything in this chapter really would be a "superwoman," a rare find. As Elizabeth put it to Mr. Darcy, she was astonished that he knew any "accomplished women" at all. This reality is stated in the chapter (31:10) -- and it is this which makes the description so helpful as a pattern for imitation. The point is not to say that anything less is complete failure, but rather to note that we have a good idea of the direction we should be thinking. Consider her work. This passage denies that a woman's place is in the home. It affirms that her priority is the home. So what does she do? What is she like?
Her husband delegates responsibility to her (31:11), and is not foolish in doing so (31:12); she is a weaver (31:13); she shops for food effectively over long distances, making CostCo runs to Lewiston (31:14); she cooks and provides food (31:15); she buys real estate (31:16); she starts a farm with her accumulated capital (31:16); she works hard, and manufactures quality merchandise (31:17-19); she is deeply involved in philanthropic work to the poor (31:20); she thinks ahead, and clothes her family well (31:21); she makes things for herself, and dresses herself well (31:22); she poses no threat to her husband; she does not compete with him or try to overshadow him (31:23); she is a fabric and clothing wholesaler (31:24); she is a wise woman, and a teacher (31:26); she manages her household (31:27), to the praise of her husband and children (31:28-29); and she fears God, placing no trust in fleeting vanity (31:30-31).
The Role of Biblical WomenTopic: Themes In Proverbs
We live in a fallen world in which God works redemptively. This means that nothing can be simply assumed to be in submission to God. It can only be assumed to be in submission to Him, or not. Consequently, we must consider all things as a blessing, or a curse, depending upon its relationship to the Word of God. "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones" (Prov. 12:4). This is why women are a wonder to have around. Or a horror.
I want to conclude with a positive statement about women from Proverbs, and so we will begin with certain problem women. When women are disobedient, the dislocations in our lives are severe. One obvious problem is that of the seductive woman -- "This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, and says, ‘I have done no wickedness’" (30:20). The wisdom of God found in Scripture brings with it as no small blessing the fact that it preserves a man from a horrible pit (2:16; 6:24; 7:5). This horrible pit is the mouth of an immoral woman; those who are hated by God will fall there (22:14). We sometimes assume that if we do certain things (like commit adultery) then we will incur the displeasure of God. This is true, but it is also true that if we incur His displeasure, we will do certain things (like commit adultery). The one who is hated by God will fall into the arms of an immoral woman. This principle must be seen by obedient faith, because an immoral woman looks good (7:10) and sounds good (5:3). Nothing is accomplished by Christians denying the obvious. But the Bible also teaches that when all is said and done, adultery is a form of suicide. "Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul" (6:32). Those who only think about the good appearance of promised of sexual pleasure "all night long" do not see that the end of this is death. But those who see that the end is death sometimes try to pretend that the beginning is equally obvious. But unless we are trusting God's word on this, it is not as obvious.
Another problem is caused by the quarrelsome woman -- Proverbs has much to say about the clamor of foolish women (9:13). Better to live in the corner of an attic than to be around a contentious woman (21:9; 25:24). Better to be out in the desert than to be around a quarrelsome woman (21:19). To be in a house that leaks during a downpour is about the same (27:15). In short, the Bible teaches that quarrelsome women are a pain in the neck.
Contrasted with this kind of covenantal chastizement, what does Proverbs say about biblical women? As we have seen, a foolish woman is a destructive force. In contrast, what are the characteristics of the obedient woman? First, she is described as a sexually superior woman. Husbands are called to rejoice sexually with their wives (5:18); they are commanded to be enraptured (5:19). This is something the husband is commanded to do, and is able to do, but not alone. In other words, a biblical wife can outdo all the one-night-stands in the world. Information to the contrary is nothing more than lying propaganda. She is also described as an edifying woman. "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands" (14:1). A godly wife builds and contributes. She blesses her husband and family in tangible ways. And we are also told that a good woman is, like our salvation, a gift of God, lest any should boast. A good wife is a tangible sign of God's blessing (18:22). Put another way, a prudent wife is from the Lord (19:14).
But this is still a little general. When we look at some of the particulars, we may be surprised. This is because many people assume that the "biblical wife" and the "traditional wife" are one and the same. In some respects, yes, but in many, no. The book of Proverbs is about two archtypical women -- Folly and Wisdom. And when we come to the end of the book, we have a particular woman described, one who embodies the characteristics of Wisdom. And many Christians know this, and refer jokingly to the "Proverbs 31 woman," but they often do this without looking closely at what she actually does.
So when we affirm the biblical role of women, we must take care at the same time to avoid overreaction. The biblical woman and the traditional woman are not necessarily identical. Of course, there will be many areas where we see the traditional woman as being closer to the biblical norm than the "modern feminist." But this is not how we are to make judgments -- grading on a curve. For example, let us consider in detail the ideal woman of Proverbs 31. Such a consideration is not altered at all through the recognition that a woman capable of everything in this chapter really would be a "superwoman," a rare find. As Elizabeth put it to Mr. Darcy, she was astonished that he knew any "accomplished women" at all. This reality is stated in the chapter (31:10) -- and it is this which makes the description so helpful as a pattern for imitation. The point is not to say that anything less is complete failure, but rather to note that we have a good idea of the direction we should be thinking. Consider her work. This passage denies that a woman's place is in the home. It affirms that her priority is the home. So what does she do? What is she like?
Her husband delegates responsibility to her (31:11), and is not foolish in doing so (31:12); she is a weaver (31:13); she shops for food effectively over long distances, making CostCo runs to Lewiston (31:14); she cooks and provides food (31:15); she buys real estate (31:16); she starts a farm with her accumulated capital (31:16); she works hard, and manufactures quality merchandise (31:17-19); she is deeply involved in philanthropic work to the poor (31:20); she thinks ahead, and clothes her family well (31:21); she makes things for herself, and dresses herself well (31:22); she poses no threat to her husband; she does not compete with him or try to overshadow him (31:23); she is a fabric and clothing wholesaler (31:24); she is a wise woman, and a teacher (31:26); she manages her household (31:27), to the praise of her husband and children (31:28-29); and she fears God, placing no trust in fleeting vanity (31:30-31).
The View from Ecclesiastes
Vanity of vanity
I’ve wasted my life on all these lies
And all I get is nothing
I gained the whole world but lost my soul
And all I have is vanity.
Is vanity.
Vanity of vanity
The desert has become my soul
And all I have is nothing
The waste of it breaks my heart in two
And all is futility.
And all is vanity.
Vanity of vanity
Can anyone redeem me
From the zero I’ve become
A pointless existence
from underneath the sun
And everything is vanity
And everything is vain.
But I remember You
Do You remember me?
Won’t You come redeem me from my vanity?
Buy back the youth I’ve wasted
Eaten up in sin
Won’t You come and save me
From this vanity?
Vanity of vanity
The way things used to be
I’ve lost my world but gained my soul
The Center of existence
The Reference Point that saves
Saves me from the chaos
Of my vanity.
Vanity of vanity
I’ve wasted my life on all these lies
And all I get is nothing
I gained the whole world but lost my soul
And all I have is vanity.
Is vanity.
Vanity of vanity
The desert has become my soul
And all I have is nothing
The waste of it breaks my heart in two
And all is futility.
And all is vanity.
Vanity of vanity
Can anyone redeem me
From the zero I’ve become
A pointless existence
from underneath the sun
And everything is vanity
And everything is vain.
But I remember You
Do You remember me?
Won’t You come redeem me from my vanity?
Buy back the youth I’ve wasted
Eaten up in sin
Won’t You come and save me
From this vanity?
Vanity of vanity
The way things used to be
I’ve lost my world but gained my soul
The Center of existence
The Reference Point that saves
Saves me from the chaos
Of my vanity.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Interesting Reactions
The comments on the last post were interesting. Something about the topic of women working outside the home versus working in the home seem to bring out the passion. However the article I referred to wasn't offering commentary, only noting a trend.
I think it is instructive to see what the general population is doing. When you have a fairly sizeable chunk of women who aren't necessarily Christians moving away from the work world and back into the home, Christian women should take heart that the command to be a keeper at home is a good one to follow. Does that mean she must always and only work at home? Of course not! Individual circumstances dictate what may or may not take place. However, as a general rule, the natural desire of women to work in the domestic sphere and to raise their own children is a natural God-given bent that even those outside of Christ recognize. In our rush to be oh so trendy and with it, it is easy for us Christians to gloss this over.
The comments on the last post were interesting. Something about the topic of women working outside the home versus working in the home seem to bring out the passion. However the article I referred to wasn't offering commentary, only noting a trend.
I think it is instructive to see what the general population is doing. When you have a fairly sizeable chunk of women who aren't necessarily Christians moving away from the work world and back into the home, Christian women should take heart that the command to be a keeper at home is a good one to follow. Does that mean she must always and only work at home? Of course not! Individual circumstances dictate what may or may not take place. However, as a general rule, the natural desire of women to work in the domestic sphere and to raise their own children is a natural God-given bent that even those outside of Christ recognize. In our rush to be oh so trendy and with it, it is easy for us Christians to gloss this over.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Are Prairie Muffins Making a Comeback?
I should be cleaning my office and bedroom right now, but I had to stop and write a few lines after reading today's newspaper with my lunch. There was a prominent article in the business/career opportunity section of the newspaper and the title reads, "Women vanishing from the job market."
The article basically outlines the declining rates of women in the workforce -- a trend that began back in the 90's and has continued. Alberta, arguably the richest province in Canada because of the oil boom, has the lowest unemployment rate, and the highest number of women leaving the workforce. This has analysts scratching their heads. Is it because there isn't as robust a childcare industry as other parts of the country, or is it because women are opting for personal interests and raising their own children?
One analyst believes that the demands on employees has "become toxic" and therefore the workplace is less attractive for women who find greater delight in thier children. This has some people worried because the workforce is shrinking at a time when the baby boom generation is beginning to retire. More retirees and less workers places a strain on social income sources, doncha know.
Are we beginning to see a backlash against the feminist trend to "dump the children on someone else and let's all be men" trend of yesteryear? Let's hope so.
I should be cleaning my office and bedroom right now, but I had to stop and write a few lines after reading today's newspaper with my lunch. There was a prominent article in the business/career opportunity section of the newspaper and the title reads, "Women vanishing from the job market."
The article basically outlines the declining rates of women in the workforce -- a trend that began back in the 90's and has continued. Alberta, arguably the richest province in Canada because of the oil boom, has the lowest unemployment rate, and the highest number of women leaving the workforce. This has analysts scratching their heads. Is it because there isn't as robust a childcare industry as other parts of the country, or is it because women are opting for personal interests and raising their own children?
One analyst believes that the demands on employees has "become toxic" and therefore the workplace is less attractive for women who find greater delight in thier children. This has some people worried because the workforce is shrinking at a time when the baby boom generation is beginning to retire. More retirees and less workers places a strain on social income sources, doncha know.
Are we beginning to see a backlash against the feminist trend to "dump the children on someone else and let's all be men" trend of yesteryear? Let's hope so.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Letter to My Daughter and New Son-In-Law
Dear Patricia and Codey,
Today you have taken vows before God and man to love and cleave to one another in the estate of matrimony. The estate into which you have just entered is an honorable one. It is the estate designed by God for man’s comfort and aid, for companionship, for the bearing and raising of children, and ultimately, as a vehicle for enjoying God and glorifying Him in this life. It is designed for mankind’s blessing and it is the relationship that God chose to illustrate the love that He has for His Bride, the Church. It is also the estate in which you will be tested and learn just what kind of a person you really are.
Life is a lot like a full cup of tea. If someone bumps your arm as you carry it, the tea sloshes over the side and you get to see what kind of tea was in the cup. The trials of life have a way of jostling our arms and the tea in our cups becomes available for viewing. No one has a better view than those who live in close intimate ties with you, be it your spouse, or the children you may eventually have.
So what should form the foundation of your relationship to one another? Many people believe that romantic love is a good foundation to build upon. It is heady and exciting and in the throes of it, you believe nothing so good could ever fail. However, if you ask just about any married couple who has been around for a few years, you will learn that romantic love comes and goes. If it goes in the face of daily life, what are you left with?
I have been convinced through my own experience and through watching others that the foundation of any successful marriage lies not in our own desires and emotions but in faithfulness to our own promise, knowing that we will be held accountable for how we keep that vow by the One in whom we live, move, and have our being. For today, you made a vow to forsake all others and to cleave to one another. That commitment will be tested in the days, weeks, and years ahead. Make sure that you build the foundation of your marriage on the solid rock of commitment and not on the sands of emotion.
One of the biggest temptations you will face will be to blame each other for whatever struggles you are enduring at the moment. The blame game is so easy to play and it is so soothing to one’s own pride to think that another person is responsible for everything that is wrong in a relationship. Quite often you will find, much to your chagrin, that the very thing you are blaming the other for is something you are guilty of yourself. It requires humility to confess your own share of the problem and to seek forgiveness, yet I know of no other or faster way to resolve things than by this method.
You will also be tempted at times to think of your marriage in terms of your own personal aspirations as though it existed for your own personal pleasure. But you have entered into a covenant with one another to work together as a team. This is a situation where the whole is greater than its parts, but it is easy to forget that when you are upset or discontented.
Be kind to one another. Treat one another courteously and seek the highest good for one another. Selflessness builds, but selfishness destroys. They say that familiarity breeds contempt and in marriage it can breed disrespect and taking one another for granted. Guard against this tendency by being careful to always treat one another well. Remember that harsh words stir up anger, but soft words allay it.
There is much I would like to say to you both, but if you remember nothing else, please remember this piece of wisdom I was given a number of years ago: Do not look to your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, or any other human being as the source of your happiness and joy. We are all frail, foolish, and sinful and, it is inevitable that we will fail and disappoint one another. Instead, seek to find happiness and fulfillment in serving God. For He alone is perfect and never fails, and in serving Him you will find joy in serving one another.
Lastly, I would like to leave you with some words of wisdom that remind us all just what love is really about:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails… But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Much love to you children,
And on a more personal level....
Dear Patricia,
Today is your big day and how I wish that circumstances were such to allow me to be there with you.
Where has the time gone? I can remember, as though it were yesterday , holding you in my arms for the first time. You were my first baby and I felt so overwhelmed by the enormity of the responsibility that comes with raising and training another human being. But also overwhelmed with a deep and abiding love that I didn’t know it was possible for one person to feel for another. I wanted so much to do right by you.
Yesterday I took your younger brothers and sisters and your nephew and niece to the park. As I pushed baby James in the swing, I was reminded of a little person that I pushed in a swing not so long ago. I remember your babyhood and girlhood with a great deal of fondness. Before Trista was born, and while your father and I moved around a lot with his work, you were my only constant companion and little buddy. My head is filled with all kinds of snapshots of you at that time. I can remember when you were about six months old, your father and I had gone to McDonald’s and I had you sitting on a table in front of me. You bent forward and got your first suck of milkshake and I thought you were so clever to be able to figure out how to suck from a straw. (Of course, that was back before I got into nutrition, and today it would be a protein shake you would be slurping up!)
Then there was the time we lived in Qualicum Beach. You had your first birthday there. In the morning, it didn’t matter how quiet I tried to be, you would hear me from your bedroom and to get my attention you would throw your bottle out of your crib. I swept up quite a few broken glass baby bottles that year!
How can I forget your phobia of clowns? At one time people used to rent these full sized animated clown figures outside their businesses to draw attention to them. Going to town could be an ordeal because I would have to scan the sidewalks to find who had rented one that day, and then I had to walk on the opposite side of the street shielding your eyes from them so that you wouldn’t scream your head off when you saw them. Then there was the time you were in vacation Bible school and the theme that year was a circus with – you guessed it – clowns. Every day you had to be rescued from your class because the clowns would come in to introduce a Bible lesson and you would have a screaming fit.
Or how about the time that you and Trista cut your hair? You thought you were so clever by flushing all the hair down the toilet and that therefore I would never notice what you had done. We had to make a long trek to the hairdresser’s on foot, and you had butchered your hair so badly, I felt like putting a paper bag on both of your heads! The hair dresser’s laughed as soon as I walked in with you because they knew what we were there for : A salvage operation.
Later on you became the fairy ballerina of the family. You danced so gracefully except for the times you clumped people in the head with your foot when you tried to do a pas de deux in our kitchen.
Ballet and bread will always be linked together in my mind. I have saved some pictures for you of the kitchen before the cupboards were in and the old KitchenAide machine you used to used to mix the bread that funded your ballet lessons. You probably didn’t appreciate our making you get out there and go door to door to sell it at the time, but I bet your abilities to deal with the public now are because of your prior experience in having to sell your wares.
And so you grew over the years from the baby, to the girl, to the young lady who left home. I don’t know if you will ever realize what a large hole in my heart your leaving left. I don’t think anyone regrets your going more than I do. I wish we could go back and do that part over.
Trisha dear, I want you to know, that I have always loved you and always will. You are constantly in my prayers. None of us knows what the future has to hold, but I pray that the mercy and grace of God will fill your heart and life, and that you will look to Him as the source of your joy and comfort. I pray that the Lord enables you to be a better wife and eventually, a better mother than I was and am.
Much love and affection,
Mom
Dear Patricia and Codey,
Today you have taken vows before God and man to love and cleave to one another in the estate of matrimony. The estate into which you have just entered is an honorable one. It is the estate designed by God for man’s comfort and aid, for companionship, for the bearing and raising of children, and ultimately, as a vehicle for enjoying God and glorifying Him in this life. It is designed for mankind’s blessing and it is the relationship that God chose to illustrate the love that He has for His Bride, the Church. It is also the estate in which you will be tested and learn just what kind of a person you really are.
Life is a lot like a full cup of tea. If someone bumps your arm as you carry it, the tea sloshes over the side and you get to see what kind of tea was in the cup. The trials of life have a way of jostling our arms and the tea in our cups becomes available for viewing. No one has a better view than those who live in close intimate ties with you, be it your spouse, or the children you may eventually have.
So what should form the foundation of your relationship to one another? Many people believe that romantic love is a good foundation to build upon. It is heady and exciting and in the throes of it, you believe nothing so good could ever fail. However, if you ask just about any married couple who has been around for a few years, you will learn that romantic love comes and goes. If it goes in the face of daily life, what are you left with?
I have been convinced through my own experience and through watching others that the foundation of any successful marriage lies not in our own desires and emotions but in faithfulness to our own promise, knowing that we will be held accountable for how we keep that vow by the One in whom we live, move, and have our being. For today, you made a vow to forsake all others and to cleave to one another. That commitment will be tested in the days, weeks, and years ahead. Make sure that you build the foundation of your marriage on the solid rock of commitment and not on the sands of emotion.
One of the biggest temptations you will face will be to blame each other for whatever struggles you are enduring at the moment. The blame game is so easy to play and it is so soothing to one’s own pride to think that another person is responsible for everything that is wrong in a relationship. Quite often you will find, much to your chagrin, that the very thing you are blaming the other for is something you are guilty of yourself. It requires humility to confess your own share of the problem and to seek forgiveness, yet I know of no other or faster way to resolve things than by this method.
You will also be tempted at times to think of your marriage in terms of your own personal aspirations as though it existed for your own personal pleasure. But you have entered into a covenant with one another to work together as a team. This is a situation where the whole is greater than its parts, but it is easy to forget that when you are upset or discontented.
Be kind to one another. Treat one another courteously and seek the highest good for one another. Selflessness builds, but selfishness destroys. They say that familiarity breeds contempt and in marriage it can breed disrespect and taking one another for granted. Guard against this tendency by being careful to always treat one another well. Remember that harsh words stir up anger, but soft words allay it.
There is much I would like to say to you both, but if you remember nothing else, please remember this piece of wisdom I was given a number of years ago: Do not look to your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, or any other human being as the source of your happiness and joy. We are all frail, foolish, and sinful and, it is inevitable that we will fail and disappoint one another. Instead, seek to find happiness and fulfillment in serving God. For He alone is perfect and never fails, and in serving Him you will find joy in serving one another.
Lastly, I would like to leave you with some words of wisdom that remind us all just what love is really about:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails… But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Much love to you children,
And on a more personal level....
Dear Patricia,
Today is your big day and how I wish that circumstances were such to allow me to be there with you.
Where has the time gone? I can remember, as though it were yesterday , holding you in my arms for the first time. You were my first baby and I felt so overwhelmed by the enormity of the responsibility that comes with raising and training another human being. But also overwhelmed with a deep and abiding love that I didn’t know it was possible for one person to feel for another. I wanted so much to do right by you.
Yesterday I took your younger brothers and sisters and your nephew and niece to the park. As I pushed baby James in the swing, I was reminded of a little person that I pushed in a swing not so long ago. I remember your babyhood and girlhood with a great deal of fondness. Before Trista was born, and while your father and I moved around a lot with his work, you were my only constant companion and little buddy. My head is filled with all kinds of snapshots of you at that time. I can remember when you were about six months old, your father and I had gone to McDonald’s and I had you sitting on a table in front of me. You bent forward and got your first suck of milkshake and I thought you were so clever to be able to figure out how to suck from a straw. (Of course, that was back before I got into nutrition, and today it would be a protein shake you would be slurping up!)
Then there was the time we lived in Qualicum Beach. You had your first birthday there. In the morning, it didn’t matter how quiet I tried to be, you would hear me from your bedroom and to get my attention you would throw your bottle out of your crib. I swept up quite a few broken glass baby bottles that year!
How can I forget your phobia of clowns? At one time people used to rent these full sized animated clown figures outside their businesses to draw attention to them. Going to town could be an ordeal because I would have to scan the sidewalks to find who had rented one that day, and then I had to walk on the opposite side of the street shielding your eyes from them so that you wouldn’t scream your head off when you saw them. Then there was the time you were in vacation Bible school and the theme that year was a circus with – you guessed it – clowns. Every day you had to be rescued from your class because the clowns would come in to introduce a Bible lesson and you would have a screaming fit.
Or how about the time that you and Trista cut your hair? You thought you were so clever by flushing all the hair down the toilet and that therefore I would never notice what you had done. We had to make a long trek to the hairdresser’s on foot, and you had butchered your hair so badly, I felt like putting a paper bag on both of your heads! The hair dresser’s laughed as soon as I walked in with you because they knew what we were there for : A salvage operation.
Later on you became the fairy ballerina of the family. You danced so gracefully except for the times you clumped people in the head with your foot when you tried to do a pas de deux in our kitchen.
Ballet and bread will always be linked together in my mind. I have saved some pictures for you of the kitchen before the cupboards were in and the old KitchenAide machine you used to used to mix the bread that funded your ballet lessons. You probably didn’t appreciate our making you get out there and go door to door to sell it at the time, but I bet your abilities to deal with the public now are because of your prior experience in having to sell your wares.
And so you grew over the years from the baby, to the girl, to the young lady who left home. I don’t know if you will ever realize what a large hole in my heart your leaving left. I don’t think anyone regrets your going more than I do. I wish we could go back and do that part over.
Trisha dear, I want you to know, that I have always loved you and always will. You are constantly in my prayers. None of us knows what the future has to hold, but I pray that the mercy and grace of God will fill your heart and life, and that you will look to Him as the source of your joy and comfort. I pray that the Lord enables you to be a better wife and eventually, a better mother than I was and am.
Much love and affection,
Mom
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