A Sane View of Things....
From Credenda Agenda
Volume 18, Issue 4: Husbandry
Birth Control
Douglas Wilson
When a man and a woman come together in marriage sexually, much more should be involved than simply the procreation of children. At the same time, because our culture wants to make sexual activity almost purely recreational, Christians need to make sure we don't lose either part of the picture. The central biological purpose of sexual relations is the procreation of children, and we have to list this under the heading of "stubborn facts."
Of course, there are additional design purposes involved as well. In this way, it is comparable to food—the biological purpose of food is to nourish and strengthen the body. But God could have made food that was every bit as nutritious as food actually is, and have done so without the almost infinite range of tastes. What is the biological purpose of the taste of oranges, or watermelon, or beef gravy?
So, without losing our balance, what can we say about birth control? If the analogy above holds straight across, then is not the widespread use of contraceptives comparable to inventing and consuming calorie-free food? No, not quite. One place where the analogy breaks down is that food is necessary for individual survival. Were we to invent food that was absolutely nourishment-free, the end result would be that the eaters of it would starve to death. Fruitful sex is necessary to the survival of the human race, but it is not necessary to the survival of the individual. It is not necessary to the physical survival of a childless couple. The point of the illustration is to show how kind and liberal God is with His blessings. He layers them, stacking them on top of one another. When we discover that God has "this" purpose in something, it is wronging Him to simply assume that this is the end of the story.
Because Scripture says nothing about birth control in itself, we cannot conclude that it is a malum in se, an evil in itself. Doing so would take us well past what is written. Like everything else in this category, it would be sinful, or not, based on things like motive, context, method, and so on.
With regard to method, an obvious example would be the use of techniques that take the lives of unborn children. Abortion is considered by many to be a form of birth control, and so it is—a murderous form of birth control. In a similar way, bank robbery is "making a withdrawal from multiple accounts." But a guilty species does not become innocent by being a member of an innocent genus.
Motive and context would be defined by what Scripture says about faithful children generally. Everything else being equal, fruitfulness is a good thing. It is a blessing. So if a Christian couple have bought all the current propaganda, and they are diligently limiting themselves to 1.2 children, then they are allowing the current false assumptions of the world to dictate to them how the Bible is to be read. But if another couple know that children are a blessing, and they use birth control in order to "space" their seven children, I would be hard pressed to say that this was an example of some kind of compromise. A man can have a high view of apple trees and still not plant them a foot and a half apart in his orchard.
There is another consideration. The Bible teaches that it is not just a matter of having them. Bringing up a child involves a good twenty years or so. Having ten children means that you are dealing with a couple (overlapping) centuries of child-rearing. When this is done right, it is glorious. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. But when it is not done right, the results are correspondingly disastrous. Samuel would not have been more greatly blessed if he had had five sons taking bribes instead of two.
Looking around the secular world, there is plenty to react to. Looking around the conservative Christian world, there is plenty to react to. But we ought not to be reactionary. Children are a blessing, and if they are individually loved, nourished, read to, fed, and educated, they remain a blessing.
Scripture does not encourage us to think that wisdom and fecundity automatically go together. And at the same time, the Bible does not encourage us to seek out barrenness as though it were a blessing. It is not.
We are told that none of us should think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think (Rom. 12:3). Before you build the tower, you ought to do some contingency planning (Luke 14:28). Sit down and count the cost. What are your likely financial boundaries? What is your health like? How old will you be when the youngest graduates from high school? Will you short-change your oldest daughters in their education by pressing them into service taking care of their younger siblings? Given how hard you will have to work to feed them all, will you have any time and energy left over to love them? Remember that children don't just need quality time; they need quantity time. What will the tuition payments to the Christian school be when all of them are enrolled? Are you equipped to homeschool so many children at so many different levels, or will things quickly deteriorate as they are left to instruct themselves or each other?
This is susceptible to misunderstandings, I know. But having answered all the questions above (and others like them) as honestly as you can, knowing what you can do, I would encourage you to have all the children you can.
But that can is much more than biological.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Repentance
"Repent is not a word we are terribly stoked about in our culture. It might be just one notch above STD or "You're fired"....
But what if Jesus said "repent" in a completely different way? For example, imagine that He is looking you in the eye right now and speaks the word.
"Repent," He says. He is smiling, confident.
"Repent."
His eys tell you that He knows you well. His tone of voice hints that one day you'll see that repenting was the best choice you ever made. His body language exudes so much positive energy that you get the sense that He mgith have come halfway around the world just to tell you the news -- "Repent."
If you head it like that , you would receive the word as a gift. It still might now sound like good news, but in the long run, you would find that it was.
To repent means to turn around, to stop what you're doing and do the opposite. To repent means to assume one thing was true, you now know it's wrong -- all wrong -- and you will now believe and act upon something totally different. Repent is a good strong word full of hope and new beginnings. In the context of Jesus' kingdom, repent is an invitation to another world, another life, a way of being that was supposed to be all along and can be now.
...Actually, we need to repent often. We need to repent, for example, of our convenient assumption that following Jesus and pursuing the American Dream are in complete harmony and will take us in pretty much the same direction. They won't. The reality of the kingdom is dangerous and beautiful and life altering.
We need to repent of smugly held beliefs, especially the "enlightened" ones that convince us we have no need to repent. We need to repent of our rightness, our arrogant belief that since we care about goodness -- that we, for example, see genocide as the evil it is -- then we'll see every evil for what it is, including the evil hiding in our own hearts.
Repentance means that we choose to agree only with God's perspective. That He alone is God and He alone can understand the blatant ways in which our own hearts deceive us. Evil that we will never notice exists in us and around us -- yet its' as obvious to God as genocide is to us.
To repent is to say to God: "I'm blind. I don't see, but I want to. Please show me Your heart in everything."
Excerpted from This Beautiful Mess by Rick McKinley
"Repent is not a word we are terribly stoked about in our culture. It might be just one notch above STD or "You're fired"....
But what if Jesus said "repent" in a completely different way? For example, imagine that He is looking you in the eye right now and speaks the word.
"Repent," He says. He is smiling, confident.
"Repent."
His eys tell you that He knows you well. His tone of voice hints that one day you'll see that repenting was the best choice you ever made. His body language exudes so much positive energy that you get the sense that He mgith have come halfway around the world just to tell you the news -- "Repent."
If you head it like that , you would receive the word as a gift. It still might now sound like good news, but in the long run, you would find that it was.
To repent means to turn around, to stop what you're doing and do the opposite. To repent means to assume one thing was true, you now know it's wrong -- all wrong -- and you will now believe and act upon something totally different. Repent is a good strong word full of hope and new beginnings. In the context of Jesus' kingdom, repent is an invitation to another world, another life, a way of being that was supposed to be all along and can be now.
...Actually, we need to repent often. We need to repent, for example, of our convenient assumption that following Jesus and pursuing the American Dream are in complete harmony and will take us in pretty much the same direction. They won't. The reality of the kingdom is dangerous and beautiful and life altering.
We need to repent of smugly held beliefs, especially the "enlightened" ones that convince us we have no need to repent. We need to repent of our rightness, our arrogant belief that since we care about goodness -- that we, for example, see genocide as the evil it is -- then we'll see every evil for what it is, including the evil hiding in our own hearts.
Repentance means that we choose to agree only with God's perspective. That He alone is God and He alone can understand the blatant ways in which our own hearts deceive us. Evil that we will never notice exists in us and around us -- yet its' as obvious to God as genocide is to us.
To repent is to say to God: "I'm blind. I don't see, but I want to. Please show me Your heart in everything."
Excerpted from This Beautiful Mess by Rick McKinley
Monday, February 26, 2007
Why Some Women Become Feminists
Boy, is there ever a lot that I can relate to in this blogpost and some of Heart's comments further down the page.
Back in 1985 I read The Way Home by Mary Pride. Gary North has always reminded us that ideas have consequences. Sometimes you don't see the consequences, or logical fallout, of those ideas until years have passed and they have had time to come to fruition. Since I lived the lifestyle espoused in The Way Home, or attempted to, I have seen the results in my own life and in the lives of other women I know. A quiver full mentality combined with the belief that good Christians homeschool before all other options is a recipe for burning out women, particularly if the quiver becomes overly full. I know quite a few women who have fallen by the wayside in an attempt to be the homebirthing, home churching, gardening, home businesswomen, mothers of many married to men with a patriarchal bent. If the number of children is large enough, and if dad isn't helping out much, something will give -- the marriage, the health, the mental well being of the wife/mother or maybe all three can all be in jeopardy given enough time.
I've come to the opinion that partriarchalism is NOT Biblical. If you go back and read what Genesis 3:16 says, the desire of the woman for her husband's position and the fact that he will rule over her is a result of the Fall and part of the curse. Patriarchalism and power struggles are not what existed before the Fall. I like the way that Rushdoony portrayed the relationship that existed between Adam and Eve in their pre-Fall state of innocency: they were co-regents over creation. Sanctification is supposed to lead us back to that state, not away from it.
Boy, is there ever a lot that I can relate to in this blogpost and some of Heart's comments further down the page.
Back in 1985 I read The Way Home by Mary Pride. Gary North has always reminded us that ideas have consequences. Sometimes you don't see the consequences, or logical fallout, of those ideas until years have passed and they have had time to come to fruition. Since I lived the lifestyle espoused in The Way Home, or attempted to, I have seen the results in my own life and in the lives of other women I know. A quiver full mentality combined with the belief that good Christians homeschool before all other options is a recipe for burning out women, particularly if the quiver becomes overly full. I know quite a few women who have fallen by the wayside in an attempt to be the homebirthing, home churching, gardening, home businesswomen, mothers of many married to men with a patriarchal bent. If the number of children is large enough, and if dad isn't helping out much, something will give -- the marriage, the health, the mental well being of the wife/mother or maybe all three can all be in jeopardy given enough time.
I've come to the opinion that partriarchalism is NOT Biblical. If you go back and read what Genesis 3:16 says, the desire of the woman for her husband's position and the fact that he will rule over her is a result of the Fall and part of the curse. Patriarchalism and power struggles are not what existed before the Fall. I like the way that Rushdoony portrayed the relationship that existed between Adam and Eve in their pre-Fall state of innocency: they were co-regents over creation. Sanctification is supposed to lead us back to that state, not away from it.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Today's Words of Wisdom
"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?
My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.
But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. "
taken from The Message paraphrase of Galatians 5:13-23
"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?
My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.
But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. "
taken from The Message paraphrase of Galatians 5:13-23
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Only For the Weak
sung by Avalon
Some say it's rules and regulations
And trying to always be right
No room for mistakes in the choices we make
For only the strong survive
But it's not about perfect performance
Or resolution of will
It's all about surrender
Giving up
Being still
Chorus: It's only for the weak
For the faint of heart
Those driven to their knees
Those who live with scars
There's power from beyond
We're certain where it's from
And that's our source of strength
Before we follow Christ
We need to be advised
It's only for the weak
He welcomes the worn and weary
All who are wounded by sin
And just as we are, we can fall in His arms
Rest and find shelter in Him
Seems like each day is a battle
With burdens and struggles to face
Only in our losing
Do we really see how much we've gained
Chorus: It's only for the weak
For the faint of heart
Those driven to their knees
Those who live with scars
There's power from beyond
We're certain where it's from
And that's our source of strength
Before we follow Christ
We need to be advised
It's only for the weak
The Father always starts
With a willing heart
Open to how
He moves
As His Spirit is poured
He will do so much more
Than we dreamed He could do
Chorus: It's only for the weak
For the faint of heart
Those driven to their knees
Those who live with scars
There's power from beyond
We're certain where it's from
And that's our source of strength
Before we follow Christ
We need to be advised
It's only for the weak
sung by Avalon
Some say it's rules and regulations
And trying to always be right
No room for mistakes in the choices we make
For only the strong survive
But it's not about perfect performance
Or resolution of will
It's all about surrender
Giving up
Being still
Chorus: It's only for the weak
For the faint of heart
Those driven to their knees
Those who live with scars
There's power from beyond
We're certain where it's from
And that's our source of strength
Before we follow Christ
We need to be advised
It's only for the weak
He welcomes the worn and weary
All who are wounded by sin
And just as we are, we can fall in His arms
Rest and find shelter in Him
Seems like each day is a battle
With burdens and struggles to face
Only in our losing
Do we really see how much we've gained
Chorus: It's only for the weak
For the faint of heart
Those driven to their knees
Those who live with scars
There's power from beyond
We're certain where it's from
And that's our source of strength
Before we follow Christ
We need to be advised
It's only for the weak
The Father always starts
With a willing heart
Open to how
He moves
As His Spirit is poured
He will do so much more
Than we dreamed He could do
Chorus: It's only for the weak
For the faint of heart
Those driven to their knees
Those who live with scars
There's power from beyond
We're certain where it's from
And that's our source of strength
Before we follow Christ
We need to be advised
It's only for the weak
SERVING NOTICE
To all current and past members of the RPNA (GM) or (whatever you want to call it )-- I DO NOT want to have emails, phone calls, or contact concerning anything to do with the RPNA, your/their take on covenanter doctrines, more condemnation, more scolding, rebukes, recriminations, complaints, or being told that I and my children are given over to Satan and that we are all on our way to hell, and that I am an unfaithful wife, mother, Christian, human being. I have news for you --- we are all unfaithful. Salvation is based on grace alone by faith alone in Christ alone, not on your or my purported faithfulness, knowledge, doctrinal purity, church affiliation, method of baptism, etc., etc.,
There is nothing worse than Calvinists who don't get grace.
To all current and past members of the RPNA (GM) or (whatever you want to call it )-- I DO NOT want to have emails, phone calls, or contact concerning anything to do with the RPNA, your/their take on covenanter doctrines, more condemnation, more scolding, rebukes, recriminations, complaints, or being told that I and my children are given over to Satan and that we are all on our way to hell, and that I am an unfaithful wife, mother, Christian, human being. I have news for you --- we are all unfaithful. Salvation is based on grace alone by faith alone in Christ alone, not on your or my purported faithfulness, knowledge, doctrinal purity, church affiliation, method of baptism, etc., etc.,
There is nothing worse than Calvinists who don't get grace.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
How to SortI may have mentioned recently that my friend Grant once told me that the trials and tribulations of life make a great filter for sorting out who your friends really are. You see me pictured here with one of my staunchest and dearest allies and my best friend who has survived the latest round of sorting. Willena has been keeping me company for over a month now and she plans to remain with me for at least another week or so. I owe her and her family a huge debt for allowing her to stay with me all this time. She has been a quiet and comfortable presence who has quite stolen my son James' heart with her winning ways. She is always good for a hug every night before bed, and often when I am feeling down for no particular reason. I also have hardly had to wash a single dish while she has been here. I think I am getting spoiled, and I don't know how I will be able to manage when she is gone. I think her family should be extra generous and let her live with me indefinitely. Okay???
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Quote of the Day
"T.S. Eliot once observed that humans cannot bear very much reality. This has been taken very much to heart by our mothers, but re-written somewhat to perpetuate a common message: Men need protection from the truth about themselves. Or more simply, men cannot bear reality.
...The hardest thing for a man to do is to cope with feelings -- his, yours, or anyone else's -- so heaven forbid that you might confront him with the news that he's hurt you. If he's been hurt, let him sulk, rage, drink, or pout. And if he abuses you, verbally or physically, "it's one of the sacrifices you have to make for having a man." Keep the family strong and the marriage whole, the message goes, and do what you can, sacrifice yourself, to ensure that he doesn't find out the truth. Suffocate him with kindness, spare him grief, and be sure he doesn't learn about himself, stop needing you -- and leave!
...It seems that protecting a man from himself, not "calling him on some of his problems," gives him what he wants: a sense that he's right, wise, emotionally stable, too involved in important matters like work to be bothered with incdental issues like relationships; and the exhilarating illusion that he's in control. Protecting a man from understanding who he is leads to disenchantment, insoluble dilemmas, and in the most extreme cases, the fracturing of a marriage. The worst thing that can be said about helping a man not to help himself is that the woman suffers. And nothing is more futile than spending a lifetime grieving over how "he won't change," and making excuses for him at the same time.
... Who asks that the message's dictum be carried out -- you, your husband, or both of you? Is the message stated or merely implied that you will be his emotional protector? What is the mechanism that moves you to protect a man, even though you claim it makes you unhappy to do so?
...Some of us admit to the truth though: we say we're protecting him, but we're really protecting ourselves. We can exercise a discernible amount of control over a man when we treat him as if he were a hopelessly frightened child. We get accustomed to his failing and cooperate in blunting his emotional growth and development.
What stops us? Frankly, many women... are hesitant to take the chance to help their husbands become full partners in marriage. Stopping a discussion that is crucial to married life because it might upset him, or pretending something doesn't exist to keep him at a distance from the facts, keeps a man in an emotionally childlike position forever. And should you believe that one wrong move would destroy the relationship -- that is, telling the truth or confronting him -- you're better off without it! Marriage should be a friendship. In a friendship there may be words exchanged that are hurtful, but that doesn't mean there is no love in the relationship. If you live in fear of not protecting your husband, you're only hurting yourself."
"T.S. Eliot once observed that humans cannot bear very much reality. This has been taken very much to heart by our mothers, but re-written somewhat to perpetuate a common message: Men need protection from the truth about themselves. Or more simply, men cannot bear reality.
...The hardest thing for a man to do is to cope with feelings -- his, yours, or anyone else's -- so heaven forbid that you might confront him with the news that he's hurt you. If he's been hurt, let him sulk, rage, drink, or pout. And if he abuses you, verbally or physically, "it's one of the sacrifices you have to make for having a man." Keep the family strong and the marriage whole, the message goes, and do what you can, sacrifice yourself, to ensure that he doesn't find out the truth. Suffocate him with kindness, spare him grief, and be sure he doesn't learn about himself, stop needing you -- and leave!
...It seems that protecting a man from himself, not "calling him on some of his problems," gives him what he wants: a sense that he's right, wise, emotionally stable, too involved in important matters like work to be bothered with incdental issues like relationships; and the exhilarating illusion that he's in control. Protecting a man from understanding who he is leads to disenchantment, insoluble dilemmas, and in the most extreme cases, the fracturing of a marriage. The worst thing that can be said about helping a man not to help himself is that the woman suffers. And nothing is more futile than spending a lifetime grieving over how "he won't change," and making excuses for him at the same time.
... Who asks that the message's dictum be carried out -- you, your husband, or both of you? Is the message stated or merely implied that you will be his emotional protector? What is the mechanism that moves you to protect a man, even though you claim it makes you unhappy to do so?
...Some of us admit to the truth though: we say we're protecting him, but we're really protecting ourselves. We can exercise a discernible amount of control over a man when we treat him as if he were a hopelessly frightened child. We get accustomed to his failing and cooperate in blunting his emotional growth and development.
What stops us? Frankly, many women... are hesitant to take the chance to help their husbands become full partners in marriage. Stopping a discussion that is crucial to married life because it might upset him, or pretending something doesn't exist to keep him at a distance from the facts, keeps a man in an emotionally childlike position forever. And should you believe that one wrong move would destroy the relationship -- that is, telling the truth or confronting him -- you're better off without it! Marriage should be a friendship. In a friendship there may be words exchanged that are hurtful, but that doesn't mean there is no love in the relationship. If you live in fear of not protecting your husband, you're only hurting yourself."
from Men are Just Desserts by Sonya Friedman
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
From Nobody to Somebody
(Excerpts from Men are Just Desserts: How Learning to Be a Woman With a Life of Your Own Can Enrich the Life You Share with a Man by Sonya Friedman)
Who are the women who think of themselves as nobodies? How does a nobody behave?
A nobody is unable or afraid to say anything positive about herself.... A somebody would say: I did it! I got my license!" "I'm a good cook!"
A nobody cannot list her strengths. A somebody would say: "There are four qualities I know to be true about myself. I'm a good listener and a great friend. I'm reliable and I don't give away secrets."
A nobody advertises to others that she's needy for approval and would be willing to do anything to maintain a relationship... A somebody is aware of the difference between doing a favor for someone she cares about and enslaving herself to another's directives and approval. A somebody doesn't apologize for others' intended slights or oversights and would say: "You forgot my birthday and I'm a little hurt by it."
A nobody believes that because she's a woman any and every man is superior to her. She subscribes to fixed rules about what the sexes are "supposed" to be and do. These very narrow boundaries keep her in a subordinate position... Living under her husband's thumb, she diminishes the contributions she makes to the household and feel guilty if she wants more from life... A somebody recognizes that being a woman doesn't automatically label her as inferior. Nor does she feel that a man is doing her an inestimable favor by marrying her.
A nobody doesn't trust her judgements, values, or grasp of the facts. She gives over the authority to someone else... The nobody not only surrenders her position on judgements or information; more importantly, she hides the truth about her feelings. She never believes that what she's experiencing is true at all and is content with the alibis that others provide... A somebody has faith in her judgements and summons respect from others.
A nobody dislikes her own company and cannot entertain herself easily, have a laugh on her own, or go to a movie or dinner without someone by her side. Others validate her existence... A somebody knows that if she doesn't like being in her own presence, why should someone else? A somebody likes the respite that being alone provides and she is able to bring more of her real self to another -- not less.
A nobody makes no demands -- sexually, emotionally, or financially. Fearful that she'll be totally rejected if she asks for gratification of any sort, the nobody becomes accustomed to collecting the crumbs that others throw her... A somebody knows that she has the right to ask for what she thinks she deserves. She is willing to take a chance and ask, rather than be taken advantage of or taken for granted.
The nobody can't say no to anyone. She is always at another's beck and call, fearful that if she doesn't say yes, she will be punished by a withdrawal of love... A somebody sees the difference between asserting herself and subjugating herself to another.
A nobody can't be selective or turn anything down. A nobody is thrilled that she's had an an offer at all... Nobodies don't expect to matter, and they set up situations so they are proved right. A nobody makes a decision because she doesn't think she deserves any more. A nobldy will often select a man who mistreats her, because, she thinks, that man sees to her core of her soul and recognizes her lack of worth. And how smart of him! A man who would treat her well is a man who, in her estimation, doesn't have any sense at all!
A nobody has illusions that a man with a lot of confidence can fill that void in her -- and he'll have enough in store for the two of them. With a sigh of relief, the nobody murmurs, "Well, he's got it all. I don't have to worry about that now."
...Instead of learning about confidence from a man and emulating this quality, the woman who thinks she is a nobody tends to draw inward. Why? Because such women need to look up to a man. Desperate not to be an equal partner, but to make the man the main course, the nobody can shrink to virtually nothing. But it's worth the price, the nobody says, because I can look up to him.
One of the truths we have to live with is that we may wind up alone because of death, divorce, or desertion. We have to prepare for it. If you can't prepare for it within the marriage, how will you face it if it should crop up? And if you live as a nobody, where will you be?
Every woman has a responsibility to make herself economically and emotionally independent before she chooses a mate or she will be a "child bride" for the rest of her life. One reason she will not grow is that she has relinquished all her options and let her husband direct her life. But the more you do for yourself, the more you become a "somebody" for yourself and other people. As you become autonomous, you can give up being a nobody -- inside or outside of marriage. When you experience autonomy, you can invite people into your life because they're not going to be a threat to you. You never have to worry that you'll become permanently attached to a man as if you were a living appendage...
...What do you want from marriage? To share your life with someone you care about deeply, or to be taken care of like a child? To develop common goals with someone you respect, or to marry the man you believe will reach goals for you? To develop as an adult within an intimate relationship, or to remain a child who must still fo llow someone else's rules and be judged by someone else's standards? Look and the process and content of marriage, not the longevity. You can be married for twenty-five years and still be miserable, lonely, alienated...
... The wisest move you can make is to start to become an individual. And you don't even have to deal with issues of the past; these only complicate matters. History is written and you can't undo it, but you can attempt to change for tomorrow by making a small effort.
You don't need to assume the role of a nobody so that HE can be somebody...
(Excerpts from Men are Just Desserts: How Learning to Be a Woman With a Life of Your Own Can Enrich the Life You Share with a Man by Sonya Friedman)
Who are the women who think of themselves as nobodies? How does a nobody behave?
A nobody is unable or afraid to say anything positive about herself.... A somebody would say: I did it! I got my license!" "I'm a good cook!"
A nobody cannot list her strengths. A somebody would say: "There are four qualities I know to be true about myself. I'm a good listener and a great friend. I'm reliable and I don't give away secrets."
A nobody advertises to others that she's needy for approval and would be willing to do anything to maintain a relationship... A somebody is aware of the difference between doing a favor for someone she cares about and enslaving herself to another's directives and approval. A somebody doesn't apologize for others' intended slights or oversights and would say: "You forgot my birthday and I'm a little hurt by it."
A nobody believes that because she's a woman any and every man is superior to her. She subscribes to fixed rules about what the sexes are "supposed" to be and do. These very narrow boundaries keep her in a subordinate position... Living under her husband's thumb, she diminishes the contributions she makes to the household and feel guilty if she wants more from life... A somebody recognizes that being a woman doesn't automatically label her as inferior. Nor does she feel that a man is doing her an inestimable favor by marrying her.
A nobody doesn't trust her judgements, values, or grasp of the facts. She gives over the authority to someone else... The nobody not only surrenders her position on judgements or information; more importantly, she hides the truth about her feelings. She never believes that what she's experiencing is true at all and is content with the alibis that others provide... A somebody has faith in her judgements and summons respect from others.
A nobody dislikes her own company and cannot entertain herself easily, have a laugh on her own, or go to a movie or dinner without someone by her side. Others validate her existence... A somebody knows that if she doesn't like being in her own presence, why should someone else? A somebody likes the respite that being alone provides and she is able to bring more of her real self to another -- not less.
A nobody makes no demands -- sexually, emotionally, or financially. Fearful that she'll be totally rejected if she asks for gratification of any sort, the nobody becomes accustomed to collecting the crumbs that others throw her... A somebody knows that she has the right to ask for what she thinks she deserves. She is willing to take a chance and ask, rather than be taken advantage of or taken for granted.
The nobody can't say no to anyone. She is always at another's beck and call, fearful that if she doesn't say yes, she will be punished by a withdrawal of love... A somebody sees the difference between asserting herself and subjugating herself to another.
A nobody can't be selective or turn anything down. A nobody is thrilled that she's had an an offer at all... Nobodies don't expect to matter, and they set up situations so they are proved right. A nobody makes a decision because she doesn't think she deserves any more. A nobldy will often select a man who mistreats her, because, she thinks, that man sees to her core of her soul and recognizes her lack of worth. And how smart of him! A man who would treat her well is a man who, in her estimation, doesn't have any sense at all!
A nobody has illusions that a man with a lot of confidence can fill that void in her -- and he'll have enough in store for the two of them. With a sigh of relief, the nobody murmurs, "Well, he's got it all. I don't have to worry about that now."
...Instead of learning about confidence from a man and emulating this quality, the woman who thinks she is a nobody tends to draw inward. Why? Because such women need to look up to a man. Desperate not to be an equal partner, but to make the man the main course, the nobody can shrink to virtually nothing. But it's worth the price, the nobody says, because I can look up to him.
One of the truths we have to live with is that we may wind up alone because of death, divorce, or desertion. We have to prepare for it. If you can't prepare for it within the marriage, how will you face it if it should crop up? And if you live as a nobody, where will you be?
Every woman has a responsibility to make herself economically and emotionally independent before she chooses a mate or she will be a "child bride" for the rest of her life. One reason she will not grow is that she has relinquished all her options and let her husband direct her life. But the more you do for yourself, the more you become a "somebody" for yourself and other people. As you become autonomous, you can give up being a nobody -- inside or outside of marriage. When you experience autonomy, you can invite people into your life because they're not going to be a threat to you. You never have to worry that you'll become permanently attached to a man as if you were a living appendage...
...What do you want from marriage? To share your life with someone you care about deeply, or to be taken care of like a child? To develop common goals with someone you respect, or to marry the man you believe will reach goals for you? To develop as an adult within an intimate relationship, or to remain a child who must still fo llow someone else's rules and be judged by someone else's standards? Look and the process and content of marriage, not the longevity. You can be married for twenty-five years and still be miserable, lonely, alienated...
... The wisest move you can make is to start to become an individual. And you don't even have to deal with issues of the past; these only complicate matters. History is written and you can't undo it, but you can attempt to change for tomorrow by making a small effort.
You don't need to assume the role of a nobody so that HE can be somebody...
Yes, Sir! That's My (Grand) Baby!
My daughter carried on the fine naming tradition. First there was Constance Ann, my mother. Then there was me, Cheryl Ann. Next came Patricia Ann. Now we have Elora Ann, aka Mugsy, which falls under the "silly name for child" tradition. She's sweet though rather grumpy looking in this photo. I'm hoping to get up to see her in real life soon...
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Joy! Joy! Joy!
It is always good to see good friends you haven't seen in a while. It is even better when they have managed to survive what could have been a fatal accident. My friend Grant, and Slav, his driver, hit a truck on their way north to PG from the Lower Mainland. Lest you think Slav is a poor driver, it was because of his quick thinking and quicker reflexes that they managed to survive. And it was totally the fault of the driver who was parked, not on the side of the road, but stopped dead in the middle of the lane without hazards on.
I didn't realize until today how upsetting I found the news of their near miss til I finally had a chance to see them both. Now I am thanking God for his mercies in allowing them to live to see another day.
Tomorrow night is a belated birthday celebration with Grant, Slav, and a few other kinesionics practitioners. I can hardly wait. They are such fun to be with and the camaraderie and shared inside jokes are precious. I have a babysitter lined up for Saturday so that I can spend a good deal of the day with them as well. We do a lot of collaboration, share notes, discuss different ways of approaching particular situations we have run into, and talk a lot of shop. We also practice on one another. It's like vacation and play for me to do this. Can you tell I love my work? I love my friends as well. May the Lord grant us many more opportunities to work together.
It is always good to see good friends you haven't seen in a while. It is even better when they have managed to survive what could have been a fatal accident. My friend Grant, and Slav, his driver, hit a truck on their way north to PG from the Lower Mainland. Lest you think Slav is a poor driver, it was because of his quick thinking and quicker reflexes that they managed to survive. And it was totally the fault of the driver who was parked, not on the side of the road, but stopped dead in the middle of the lane without hazards on.
I didn't realize until today how upsetting I found the news of their near miss til I finally had a chance to see them both. Now I am thanking God for his mercies in allowing them to live to see another day.
Tomorrow night is a belated birthday celebration with Grant, Slav, and a few other kinesionics practitioners. I can hardly wait. They are such fun to be with and the camaraderie and shared inside jokes are precious. I have a babysitter lined up for Saturday so that I can spend a good deal of the day with them as well. We do a lot of collaboration, share notes, discuss different ways of approaching particular situations we have run into, and talk a lot of shop. We also practice on one another. It's like vacation and play for me to do this. Can you tell I love my work? I love my friends as well. May the Lord grant us many more opportunities to work together.
Still Struggling with "Perfection"
Seven days ago I contracted laryngitis and lost my voice. One of my male clients said I was now the "perfect" woman: attractive and silent. [makes wry face] Since that time, my voice has come and gone, but mostly been gone. This made for an interesting Monday. I had to speak at a local homeschool meeting that evening and had no voice for it. I used some of my energy stuff and did some tapping for it and managed to get enough of a voice to make it through the evening. Today I am breaking down and going to see a doctor for a round of antibiotics. When I start coughing up hard green chunks of goo from my voice box, it is time for drastic measures. In the meantime, I am making do with eye contact and body language. The children have discovered how much meaning can be packed into a single glance.
Seven days ago I contracted laryngitis and lost my voice. One of my male clients said I was now the "perfect" woman: attractive and silent. [makes wry face] Since that time, my voice has come and gone, but mostly been gone. This made for an interesting Monday. I had to speak at a local homeschool meeting that evening and had no voice for it. I used some of my energy stuff and did some tapping for it and managed to get enough of a voice to make it through the evening. Today I am breaking down and going to see a doctor for a round of antibiotics. When I start coughing up hard green chunks of goo from my voice box, it is time for drastic measures. In the meantime, I am making do with eye contact and body language. The children have discovered how much meaning can be packed into a single glance.
On Birthdays and Such
Yesterday I completed yet another trip around the sun. My life has undergone some rather profound changes in the past year -- things I didn't anticipate happening when the sun rose on my 45th birthday.
When you are young, life is mapped out before you in a sort of formula that is supposed to equal "happily ever after." Somewhere along the way things begin to go wrong. The road you set out on with such confidence, that appeared, from a distance, to have only a few gentle turns and smooth surfaces, appears upon closer inspection to be filled with potholes that could swallow transport trucks, u-turns, construction with long line -ups, and detour signs.
In the past year I've lost two more sons from home, lost my church, and lost my marriage. I think I am still reeling a bit from the drastic changes that have been taking place as a result of all that. It is with some surprise that I find myself still standing at the end of the day. God's mercies are there in that I have yet to spend a day in bed crying in my pillow in sheer self-pity or desperation. Some days putting one foot in front of the other in a rather robotic fashion is all that I can manage. Yet at least I am still moving.
It hasn't all been negative. I have a wonderful friend who lost his mobility 16 years ago due to an accident. He now spends his days in a wheelchair. One of the things he said to me recently was that the accident and resulting paralysis was an excellent filter for finding out who his real friends are. My recent excommunication and marriage breakdown are accomplishing the same for me. I am finding out who really loves me and who is really my friend. I have friends who call me almost daily or who write to me or check up on me to make sure that I am going to make it. Sometimes they deliver faithful wounds, but they are also quick to apply the salve and bandages and crutches necessary to get me up and hobbling again.
This is sort of like razing a house to the foundations and starting over again. I kind of figured that by the time I hit middle age I would have alot of stuff already figured out and would just spend the rest of my life touching up things here and there. Instead, I find myself going back to the basics yet again with regard to faith. Yeah, I know. At a time that I should be gobbling down and digesting meat, I find myself back on a diet of pablum and milk. But it is either that or just quit eating altogether. And some days anorexia is a real problem, figuratively speaking.
There are a lot of voices telling me one thing or telling me another. Do this, don't do that. God says this, God doesn't say that. And the information is conflicting but delivered with the strength of conviction and certainty that they hold the truth in righteousness. I want to put my fingers in my ears and shut them all out and run away. Tell me God -- directly -- what it is You want of me. And You better hurry, because I have all these kids I still have to raise with some semblance of having my act together and knowing what it is that I am doing.
Below are two of the musical offerings that offer a glimpse of the gritty reality of my life as a Christian. I don't know what the future holds for me or mine. I can only hope in the One who holds it for me.
Oh My God
by Jars of Clay
Oh my God, look around this place
Fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace and future falls
in present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God."
Oh my God, why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friends
Oh my God
Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief
And graft my soul upon Your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away and a mother cries
Liars and fools, sons and failures
Theives will always say
Lost and found, ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels, men with problems
Broken-hearted, separated
Orphans always say
War creators, racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers, fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints, lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers, watchful doubters
Saviours always say
Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be
Maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better
Scales were gone and faces lighter
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes
And all the fear that keeps me silent
Falls below my heavy breathing
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded
That the pain is worth the thunder
Sometimes when I lose my grip
I wonder what to make of Heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat
All the wounds that money causes
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children
This is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers
This is our greatest offence
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God...
Yesterday I completed yet another trip around the sun. My life has undergone some rather profound changes in the past year -- things I didn't anticipate happening when the sun rose on my 45th birthday.
When you are young, life is mapped out before you in a sort of formula that is supposed to equal "happily ever after." Somewhere along the way things begin to go wrong. The road you set out on with such confidence, that appeared, from a distance, to have only a few gentle turns and smooth surfaces, appears upon closer inspection to be filled with potholes that could swallow transport trucks, u-turns, construction with long line -ups, and detour signs.
In the past year I've lost two more sons from home, lost my church, and lost my marriage. I think I am still reeling a bit from the drastic changes that have been taking place as a result of all that. It is with some surprise that I find myself still standing at the end of the day. God's mercies are there in that I have yet to spend a day in bed crying in my pillow in sheer self-pity or desperation. Some days putting one foot in front of the other in a rather robotic fashion is all that I can manage. Yet at least I am still moving.
It hasn't all been negative. I have a wonderful friend who lost his mobility 16 years ago due to an accident. He now spends his days in a wheelchair. One of the things he said to me recently was that the accident and resulting paralysis was an excellent filter for finding out who his real friends are. My recent excommunication and marriage breakdown are accomplishing the same for me. I am finding out who really loves me and who is really my friend. I have friends who call me almost daily or who write to me or check up on me to make sure that I am going to make it. Sometimes they deliver faithful wounds, but they are also quick to apply the salve and bandages and crutches necessary to get me up and hobbling again.
This is sort of like razing a house to the foundations and starting over again. I kind of figured that by the time I hit middle age I would have alot of stuff already figured out and would just spend the rest of my life touching up things here and there. Instead, I find myself going back to the basics yet again with regard to faith. Yeah, I know. At a time that I should be gobbling down and digesting meat, I find myself back on a diet of pablum and milk. But it is either that or just quit eating altogether. And some days anorexia is a real problem, figuratively speaking.
There are a lot of voices telling me one thing or telling me another. Do this, don't do that. God says this, God doesn't say that. And the information is conflicting but delivered with the strength of conviction and certainty that they hold the truth in righteousness. I want to put my fingers in my ears and shut them all out and run away. Tell me God -- directly -- what it is You want of me. And You better hurry, because I have all these kids I still have to raise with some semblance of having my act together and knowing what it is that I am doing.
Below are two of the musical offerings that offer a glimpse of the gritty reality of my life as a Christian. I don't know what the future holds for me or mine. I can only hope in the One who holds it for me.
Oh My God
by Jars of Clay
Oh my God, look around this place
Fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace and future falls
in present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God."
Oh my God, why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friends
Oh my God
Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief
And graft my soul upon Your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away and a mother cries
Liars and fools, sons and failures
Theives will always say
Lost and found, ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels, men with problems
Broken-hearted, separated
Orphans always say
War creators, racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers, fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints, lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers, watchful doubters
Saviours always say
Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be
Maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better
Scales were gone and faces lighter
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes
And all the fear that keeps me silent
Falls below my heavy breathing
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded
That the pain is worth the thunder
Sometimes when I lose my grip
I wonder what to make of Heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat
All the wounds that money causes
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children
This is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers
This is our greatest offence
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God...
Dead Man
by Jars of Clay
by Jars of Clay
January 1, I've got a lot of things on my mind
I'm looking at my body through a new spy satellite
Try to lift a finger, but I don't think I can make the call
So tell me if I move, 'cause I don't feel anything at all
So carry me
I'm just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can't find a heartbeat
Make me breathe
I want to be a ne man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan
I woke up from a dream about an empty funeral
But it was better than the party full of people I don't really know
They've got hearts to break and burn
Dirty hands to feel the earth
There's something in my veins
But I can't seem to make it work, it won't work
So carry me
I'm just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can't find a heartbeat
Make me breathe
I want to be a new man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan
Can you feel a beat inside of me?
Any pulse?
Getting worse?
Any pulse?
Getting worse?
Inside of me, can you find a beat?
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The Public Cross
Today the children and I listened to a sermon by Douglas Wilson entitled, "The Public Cross" based on I Corinthians 2: 1-10. As I listened, it occured to me how much my faith (and likely that of others) is often very mixed with unbelief. We take the words "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love him" as permission to think that God really isn't going to do the things that He clearly says He is going to do in His Word. In other words, when the Bible speaks of the glory of the Lord filling the nations, and all nations worshipping him, we project this all into the future life as though it were an eschatological fairy tale for eternity after the end of the world, never thinking that it will actually occur in this life. It is precisely because it will occur that the rulers of the world would not have put Christ to death if they had known what would come of it. The death of Christ isn't merely about personal salvation. Where you spend eternity is not something that keeps your political rulers up late at night or causes them to break out in persecutions. Rather what gets their goat, and always has done, is the way the cross of Christ challenges them in their capacity as political leaders and threatens their power. That is why, from the very beginning, it was the political and ecclesiastical leaders who conspired to put Christ to death, who posted guards at the tomb, and who were the first ones to know that He had come back from the dead. They believed Christ's words about His coming resurrection where His own disciples did not.
It is so easy to get locked into a few specific aspects of the faith and totally miss or ignore others. Very often salvation is something that is talked of only in terms of the individual. Yet Scripture talks of salvation in terms of groups of people, like households, cities, and nations. Salvation comes not only to individuals, it comes to the collective -- the one and the many. Man is a social creature and as a social creature he is saved. We are saved not only as individuals, we are saved as a community -- the Church.
Today the children and I listened to a sermon by Douglas Wilson entitled, "The Public Cross" based on I Corinthians 2: 1-10. As I listened, it occured to me how much my faith (and likely that of others) is often very mixed with unbelief. We take the words "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love him" as permission to think that God really isn't going to do the things that He clearly says He is going to do in His Word. In other words, when the Bible speaks of the glory of the Lord filling the nations, and all nations worshipping him, we project this all into the future life as though it were an eschatological fairy tale for eternity after the end of the world, never thinking that it will actually occur in this life. It is precisely because it will occur that the rulers of the world would not have put Christ to death if they had known what would come of it. The death of Christ isn't merely about personal salvation. Where you spend eternity is not something that keeps your political rulers up late at night or causes them to break out in persecutions. Rather what gets their goat, and always has done, is the way the cross of Christ challenges them in their capacity as political leaders and threatens their power. That is why, from the very beginning, it was the political and ecclesiastical leaders who conspired to put Christ to death, who posted guards at the tomb, and who were the first ones to know that He had come back from the dead. They believed Christ's words about His coming resurrection where His own disciples did not.
It is so easy to get locked into a few specific aspects of the faith and totally miss or ignore others. Very often salvation is something that is talked of only in terms of the individual. Yet Scripture talks of salvation in terms of groups of people, like households, cities, and nations. Salvation comes not only to individuals, it comes to the collective -- the one and the many. Man is a social creature and as a social creature he is saved. We are saved not only as individuals, we are saved as a community -- the Church.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
The Kangaroos Continue to Hop
Last night word came that the boys in the RPNA (GM) "court" have spared no labor in excommunicating five more people for daring to question them. In their usual fashion, they have chosen to emphasize form and structure over substance and content. This benefits them greatly as it allows them to avoid all difficult questions and the accountability that come with it. I think it is quite telling that they are showing a decided reluctance to put anything down in writing when dealing with some of these brethren. After all, if you only say it and it isn't recorded anywhere, it is easy to say that someone has lied or misrepresented you and then it is their word against yours. However, if you have to commit your words to paper, well, your words can then be passed around and inspected, and maybe even come back to bite you.
This brings the total of people excommunicated in the last few months to 30. When you count the children in these homes, the number is closer to 90 something. We can congratulate the "court" on their efficiency in dealing so summarily with so many in so short a time!
Last night word came that the boys in the RPNA (GM) "court" have spared no labor in excommunicating five more people for daring to question them. In their usual fashion, they have chosen to emphasize form and structure over substance and content. This benefits them greatly as it allows them to avoid all difficult questions and the accountability that come with it. I think it is quite telling that they are showing a decided reluctance to put anything down in writing when dealing with some of these brethren. After all, if you only say it and it isn't recorded anywhere, it is easy to say that someone has lied or misrepresented you and then it is their word against yours. However, if you have to commit your words to paper, well, your words can then be passed around and inspected, and maybe even come back to bite you.
This brings the total of people excommunicated in the last few months to 30. When you count the children in these homes, the number is closer to 90 something. We can congratulate the "court" on their efficiency in dealing so summarily with so many in so short a time!
Tee Hee...
I am now an official member of the "Cute Nose Club." Last week I went to a shop and got my nose pierced and a small shiny clear stone stud put in. When my nose has finished healing, my plan is to get myself a small sparkly little diamond as a replacement. Strategically placed glitz does a lot to lift a girl's spirits.
I am now an official member of the "Cute Nose Club." Last week I went to a shop and got my nose pierced and a small shiny clear stone stud put in. When my nose has finished healing, my plan is to get myself a small sparkly little diamond as a replacement. Strategically placed glitz does a lot to lift a girl's spirits.
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