A Christmas Sour Puss

The other day I was in a store and ran into an elderly lady that I used to know when I attended a Baptist Church. She was behind a counter passing out samples of food. We said hello and she went on to ask if I had everything ready for Christmas. I replied, "As ready as I am gonna get." Which is to say, not at all, since we don't observe this day. This is my polite way of deflecting discussion when I am in a hurry or don't want to get into a protracted discussion.

My daughter Bethany, who was with me, was a lot more forthcoming. "We don't do Christmas," she bellowed across the crowd to the lady. This brought raised eyebrows and an incredulous look. "You don't do Christmas???"

"No," I replied, sighing inwardly.

"Whyever not? You aren't a JW now, are you?"

"No, Mary, we aren't JW.s"

"So why don't you celebrate Christmas?"

"Because we believe it is a violation of the second commandment."

Mary looks puzzled. "Second commandment? Which one is that?" [Cheryl thinks to herself, "What DO they teach them in the Baptist churches?"]

"That is the commandment that tells us not to worship God in ways that He hasn't commanded."

Mary looks at me in disgust and gives the Christian equivalent of the one finger salute and then turns her back to me.

Hmmm... Nice example of the "Christmas spirit," I think.