Today's Amusement-- Funny Bumper Stickers

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
Never believe generalizations.
Avoid alliterations always.
Know When to Say When
Dyslexics are teople poo.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
The control key on the keyboard does not work.
Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly).
On your mark, get set, go away!
I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!
What would Scooby do?
I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.
I have a degree in Liberal Arts - do you want fries with that?
Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Cover Me! I'm Changing Lanes
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.
Old age comes at a bad time.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
Without ME, it's just AWESO.
Honk if you want to see my finger.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
Driver carries no cash. He's married.
Watch out for the idiot behind me.
Don't believe everything you think.
Earth is full. Go home.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her (or something like that).
Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.
If it isn't broken, fix it until it is.
What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?