Pet Peeve

One of my pet peeves is the dearth of qualified women midwives. One of the biggest reasons for this dearth is the way the medical community has tried to create a monopoly on the delivery of babies, restricting it where they can to allopathic medical doctors. Most of these doctors are men.

I have nothing against men, provided they are kept in their place. But I don't believe that place is in the labor and delivery rooms of our nation, unless they are the husbands of the women and fathers of the babies.

Giving birth is the culmination of the most intimate act between a man and a wife. Traditionally, birthing women were attended by other women; a midwife, their mother, aunts, cousins, sisters, etc. Birth was a normal family centered event, not the medical catastrophe waiting to happen that it now tends to be. Since birth was taken over by the medicos and moved to the hospital, the traditional support system that saw a new mother nurtured, supported and mothered into her new role by her experienced friends and relations has now been laid upon the shoulders of her husband (who, unless he is exceptional as a nurturer makes a poor substitute for the women) and a bunch of strangers she has never met before. Worse yet, her typically male doctor rushes in at the end to "deliver" her baby and then rushes off when the baby is successfully caught.

I could sound off on a lot of things that I have problems with in this scenario, but the one I want to focus on right now is the way a woman has to endure the experience of having herself exposed before another man other than her husband. Not a few women come out of the experience of a hospital/medical birth feeling, not empowered, but humiliated and exposed. I had seven hospital births in a variety of hospitals before finding a woman midwife and had to endure the embarrassment of this exposure. I had to try and ignore the maleness of my doctor and set up a kind of refuge from what was really happening in my mind, just to get through and get that baby in the end. What a contrast to the dignity and respect I was treated with by my midwife who understood the need and desire for modesty!

Birthing is an extraordinarily vulnerable time for a woman. She labors at one of the most eternally significant things she will ever do when she brings forth life. What a shame to expose her to shame and violation at this time!

If there are any guys reading this blog, I hope you take it to heart to seriously consider the merits of a woman attendant when it is time for your wife to give birth. Men should be one of the biggest cheerleaders for women attendants for this very reason, imho.