San Francisco City Hall Scene
"Next."

"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage
license."

"Names?"

"Tim and Jim Jones."

"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."

"Yes, we're brothers."

"Brothers? You can't get married."

"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same
gender couples?"

"Yes, thousands. However, we haven't had any
siblings. That's incest!"

"Incest?" No, we are not gay."

"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"

"For the financial benefits, of course. In addition,
we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any
other prospects."

"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and
lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection
under the law. If you are not gay, you can get
married to a woman."

"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry
a woman as I have. However, just because I'm straight
doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry
Jim."

"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to
discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"

"All right, all right. I'll give you your license.
Next."

"Hi. We are here to get married."

"Names?"

"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June
Johnson."

"Who wants to marry whom?"

"We all want to marry each other."

"But there are four of you!"

"That's right. You see; we're all bisexual. I love
Jane and Robert, Jane loves June and me, June loves
Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of
us getting married together is the only way that we
can express our sexual preferences in a marital
relationship."

"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and
lesbian couples."

"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"

"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of
marriage is that it's just for couples."

"Since when are you standing on tradition?"

"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."

"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit
marriage to couples, the more the better. Besides, we
demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution
guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a
marriage license!"

"All right, all right. Next."

"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."

"In what names?"

"David Deets."

"And the other man?"

"That's all. I want to marry myself."

"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"

"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality,
so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file
a joint income-tax return."

"That does it! I quit!! You people are making a
mockery of marriage!!"

[Thanks to Milly for passing this logical endpoint to gay marriage along.]