About Old Wives...

"...Do not despise the lore that has come down from distant years; for oft it may chance that old wives keep in memory word of things that once were needful for the wise to know."

Celeborn

How my Days Begin...

My rattlesnake awakens me,
I swat its scaly head.
My buzzard pecks my belly
Till I fling it from the bed.
My rats attack me as I rise
But scatter when I roar.
I boot my sweet tarantula
Across the stony floor.

I tickle my piranha,
Who rewards me with a bite,
Then disengage the leeches
That besiege me over night.
I flick aside the lizard
Clinging grimly to my chin,
And now I feel I'm ready
For my morning to begin.

Another day has started,
I stretch and yawn and shout,
Then rap my cudgel on my head
To shake the cobwebs out.
I scratch my chest and belly,
My neck and knobby knees,
Then knock my head against the wall
To agitate my fleas.

I snort and grunt and rearrange
Some bones upong a shelf,
Then gaze into the mirror
And commence to groom myself.
I rinse my mouth with onion juice
And dab some on my chin,
I rub my cheeks with dragon blood
To uglify my skin.

I brush my hair with gargoyle oil
That's specially refined,
Then scrub my face with weasal grease,
The extra smelly kind.
When it's apparent I've achieved
My usual appeal,
I trudge into the kitchen
To prepare my morning meal.

Oh breakfast, lovely breakfast,
You're the meal I savor most.
I sip a bit of gargoyle bile
And chew some ghoul on toast.

I linger over scrambled legs
Complete with pickeled feet,
Then finish with a piping bowl
Of steamy Scream of Wheat.

[poem by Jack Prelutsky from his book Awful Ogre's Awful Day -- some days this matches my day.]

Things that Thrill...

I went to the bookstore today to buy a book on Quantum Physics and had a hard time settling on which one to get. I finally ended up with "Quantum Reality" by Nick Herbert. And I just couldn't pass up on two other books: "The Mind of God: The Scientific Basis for a Rational World" by Paul Davies and "Why God Won't Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief" by Andrew Newberg, M.D., Eugene "Aquilli, M.D., Ph.D., and Vince Rause. These last two complement another book I am reading by Dr. Herbert Benson -- "Timeless Healing: The Power and Biology of Belief." (Unbeknowst to me, the store was having a sale of 20% off of everything in the store, with the exception of the bargain bins. Yippee! The thrill of good books on sale!) It is a fascinating study to find more evidence of our Creator at work in the very biology of how our brains work when we believe in Him. It is literally hard-wired into our brains to believe. Kind of gives one a different perspective on Romans 1:18.

And speaking of Dr. Benson, I found another book of his that I wanted on the bargain table for $5 -- "The Relaxation Response." Now here is a thought -- if our thoughts are capable of causing a stress reaction in the body of higher blood pressure, the release of norephinephrine and epinephrine, the speeding up of heart, respiration, and metabolic rates, etc., then why can't we do the opposite with our thoughts -- slow down the heart/respiration/metabolic rate and lower our blood pressure. Well it turns out that we can. But doing this is considered suspect by many Christians.

Here is something else that I ponder (and the reason why I buy books on quantum theory): Why is it that we consider it normal and not occultic when animals display forms of telepathy -- like dogs knowing when a master is returning home, or sensing when an owner wants to commit suicide and then displays signs of comforting -- yet it is occult or pyschic, or paranormal if people display these same capabilities?

Another thing that thrills me -- buying stationery. I love buying empty notebooks and paper, pens, markers, pencils, and erasers. They represent the potential of creativity and the enjoyment of learning and figuring.

I love to write longhand. Calligraphy was one thing I concentrated on when I studied art for three years under a master in high school. There is a positive pleasure in seeing letters well-formed with artistically placed scrolls and flourishes. Unfortunately, most of my work requires the speed and convenience of word processing and I can't afford the luxury of the hand written word too often. But when I do have the time, I love to indulge myself with different colored inks and a variety of styles.

How's that for a disjointed post?

Boredom?

How in the world do people manage to have nothing to do and be bored? At any given time I have about 20 or more different things I could choose from to be doing. For instance, right now I could be cleaning up my kitchen and putting away my groceries and starting supper. I could also be working on a quilt block for a newly married friend. Then there is the study and research for my paper on Energy Therapy that I am writing. Oh, and the attic library needs sorting out and organizing, my office needs painting, clothes need to be rotated due to changes in the size of children and then there are all the theology books I own and haven't read yet.

What I need is a couple of clones of myself and some parallel universes to run them in a concurrent fashion with the ability to enjoy what each one of me is doing. I am finding that this life is just too short to cram in all the things I would like to do. Like....

I really like doing housework when it is all that I have to concentrate on. Folding laundry and placing things in a neat orderly pile is very satisfying to me. I even organize the clothing in how I hang it out on the line on warm summer days. There is also something very satisfying about restoring order to a messy room and getting things back in place or making my faucets shine like a mirror. [But why is entropy so easy to achieve? Hours of work can be demolished in minutes by a rambunctious toddler!] What drives me really crazy is doing housework AND having to homeschool at the same time in order to fit everything in.

Homeschooling would be very enjoyable if that is all I had to do. Although I would rather stick pins in my eyes than teach small children to read, doing the other stuff, even rote learning of the times tables, can be a gratifying experience if I am able to just concentrate on that. But I can't do just that.

I have some artistic tendencies that don't often get satisfied due to a lack of time. I would like to express those tendencies in sewing and decorating, doing calligraphy, drawing, painting, and practicing the piano. No time!

Studies, research and writing of health, nutrition, and various forms of healing for my clinic work is another passion. It must be tucked in around the cooking/cleaning/laundry/homeschooling/family worship/grocery shopping/appointments/kid activities/and husband tending. Not enough time!

Then there are all my friends I would like to spend time with. I know so many fascinating and interesting people who have various facets to their lives that enriches my own when we connect. Alas, not the amount of time I would like to give to them either. And my family is growing with the promise of more growth in the future when more children marry and more grandchildren are born so there will be even less time for friends, although I think the friendship of my adult children and the companionship and antics of my grandchildren will compensate for this.

There are so many books to read to the children and so many things to teach and discuss with them. Where do I get the time?

I am glad I am "just a housewife" and don't lead a dull life.

Tolkein Talk

I never did do a review of The Two Towers movie, but I went and enjoyed it thoroughly. I intend to see it a second time when I take some of my kids to it. I can hardly wait til the summer or fall when the DVD is released. If they put out an extended version, that is the one I'll be buying.

We own the extended DVD version of The Fellowship of the Rings. I think I enjoyed all the behind the scenes stuff as much as I did watching the actual movie. If I were going to work on the LOTR movies, I would have wanted to work in the WETA workshop designing and making various props.

One of the things that I found most fascinating was the design and construction of the costumes. They were works of art. I tend to be very utilitarian in my view of clothing. But clothing can be very beautiful and evocative of certain values of modesty, beauty and function in an artform that we wear. We ought not to wear beautiful clothing as a form of giving ourselves airs, but we should wear it as an expression of being creatures made in the image of God.

Birthday Girl

Yesterday was my 42nd birthday. Happy Birthday to Me!

My daughter Trista is coming over to make my birthday supper and my son Ben is going to make my birthday cheesecake for me. They are all excited about a gift they all chipped in to buy me.

Yesterday Marc took me out for supper at Kelly O'Brien's since they have a free meal for birthday people on their birthdays. It was a good meal, but I wasn't able to fully enjoy it like I would have liked to. I had a miserable cold and had taken something like 7 grams of Vitamin C earlier in the day in an effort to knock it out. I was feeling a bit better by suppertime, but when we finally sat down to eat, I had some sudden sharp pains. Bowel tolerance of Vitamin C and supper do not mix well together. I will spare you the details.

After the birthday meal, we went to Costco and wandered around for a bit and enjoyed some free samples of food. Marc bought me a massage table for my birthday. I need a table for my clinic work, so this is just perfect!

Academia

Yesterday I attended a free public lecture on genome research at UNBC. I strolled through the halls of learning carrying my purse and a diaper bag while my 13 yo son, Trahern, followed in my wake with Elodie. She sat part way through the lecture and then had to be taken out by Trahern so as not to disturb everyone. They spent the rest of the lecture at the Tim Horton's coffee shop making a mess with a bagel.

The lecture was interesting but I am not going to bother to describe it.

If I hadn't become a wife and mother, I could have happily spent my days in academia as either a perpetual student or a professor. There is something in the very atmosphere of schools, colleges and universities that invigorates me. So much to learn!

I took some post secondary courses through Malaspina College when I was first married, but other than that, it has been only the odd course here or there, or correspondance coursework. Most of my free time is spent in reading, researching, and writing, particularly in the field of health. It turns my crank to learn. I feel physically good when I am reading or studying. I think it causes my endorphins to surge or something.

Homeschool Mom's New Year's Resolutions

I will not be late for field trips, classes, parties, doctor's
appointments,church or any other important events . even if I have to take
the baby 'as is.'

I will limit my email to two hours a day so I can remember to feed the
children.

I will quit stealing grocery money to buy more books at the local library
sale.

I will never again commit the cardinal sin of buying Megablocks instead of
Legos.

I promise not to get mad or yell at anybody before church, even if the
children have to go with one shoe and unmatched socks.

I will quit hiding in the bathroom when the children overwhelm me.

I will quit wearing denim jumpers as soon as all those I have wear out.

I promise to mail my children's pen pal letters before I lose them.

I will start a home business to finance my book addiction. I think I'll
start with buying and selling books on eBay.

I promise myself I will lose 20 pounds before my high school reunion in
June.

I promise to read all the neat books I bought to the children before I sell
them on eBay.

I promise to put $20 every week into my Education Envelope so I don't cry in
the vendor hall at our local homeschool convention this spring.

I will go to bed on time so I can wake up before the baby, even if I have to
leave the dishes in the sink.again.

I will faithfully do whatever the Flylady(.org) says and keeps my tennis
shoes tied.

I will wash the van every week and clean it out after every trip to town.

I promise to control all conflict, including screaming, kicking, throwing
things, slamming doors, pouting, fighting, leaving, locking people in the
bathroom, and other such childish behavior, when I don't get my way.

I promise to read to the children every night and quit pretending I'm
asleep.

I promise not to usurp the answering machine's authority.

I promise not to hog the computer once my husband has come home from work
even though he only wants to play solitaire.

I promise to try to think of one positive thing to tell my husband when he
comes home from work before I unload on him the 20 things that went wrong.

I will try not to buy one more math program.

I promise to limit returned phone calls to 10 minutes each, even when it's
just the plumber.

I promise to teach my children the correct response to store clerks and bank
tellers so they don't reply, 'I don't go to school.'

I promise to quit bribing my children to be quiet by paying them money or
candy.

I promise to read all the books I own before I buy anymore.

I promise to learn to cook this year and hope the local pizza place doesn't
go out of business because of it.

I will never make New Year's Resolutions ever again.

This Week's Raspberry...

...Goes to all the Christian men who pull out the "S" word when they begin to lose a debate to a woman. It never fails to amaze me how fast the term "subjection" gets thrown around, not to mention the reminders about being gentle, humble, etc., or admonitions against being headstrong. If you try to answer them you are automatically guilty of these "sins."

It also amazes me how many men believe that all women are to submit to all men. It is clear to me that they need a good strong dose of the exposition provided in the Larger Catechism about the duties and sins of superiors, inferiors, and equals to straighten them out.

That, and maybe the chance to live under the same sort of rule that they like to impose.

And no, I am NOT talking about my husband!