Homeschool Mom's New Year's Resolutions

I will not be late for field trips, classes, parties, doctor's
appointments,church or any other important events . even if I have to take
the baby 'as is.'

I will limit my email to two hours a day so I can remember to feed the
children.

I will quit stealing grocery money to buy more books at the local library
sale.

I will never again commit the cardinal sin of buying Megablocks instead of
Legos.

I promise not to get mad or yell at anybody before church, even if the
children have to go with one shoe and unmatched socks.

I will quit hiding in the bathroom when the children overwhelm me.

I will quit wearing denim jumpers as soon as all those I have wear out.

I promise to mail my children's pen pal letters before I lose them.

I will start a home business to finance my book addiction. I think I'll
start with buying and selling books on eBay.

I promise myself I will lose 20 pounds before my high school reunion in
June.

I promise to read all the neat books I bought to the children before I sell
them on eBay.

I promise to put $20 every week into my Education Envelope so I don't cry in
the vendor hall at our local homeschool convention this spring.

I will go to bed on time so I can wake up before the baby, even if I have to
leave the dishes in the sink.again.

I will faithfully do whatever the Flylady(.org) says and keeps my tennis
shoes tied.

I will wash the van every week and clean it out after every trip to town.

I promise to control all conflict, including screaming, kicking, throwing
things, slamming doors, pouting, fighting, leaving, locking people in the
bathroom, and other such childish behavior, when I don't get my way.

I promise to read to the children every night and quit pretending I'm
asleep.

I promise not to usurp the answering machine's authority.

I promise not to hog the computer once my husband has come home from work
even though he only wants to play solitaire.

I promise to try to think of one positive thing to tell my husband when he
comes home from work before I unload on him the 20 things that went wrong.

I will try not to buy one more math program.

I promise to limit returned phone calls to 10 minutes each, even when it's
just the plumber.

I promise to teach my children the correct response to store clerks and bank
tellers so they don't reply, 'I don't go to school.'

I promise to quit bribing my children to be quiet by paying them money or
candy.

I promise to read all the books I own before I buy anymore.

I promise to learn to cook this year and hope the local pizza place doesn't
go out of business because of it.

I will never make New Year's Resolutions ever again.